i return to write down the gentle art of accepting

First thing I need then to recall and remember Is that I belong to myself and my God And I am loved here where I am and that I matter And accept there's a pathway I've trod Sitting here in a room full of wonder Though an inner critic a cynic might say That it looks to untidy and somewhat confusing yet its is fused in its own special way yes this nest where my body's been moving has been spilled thrilled and tide spilling born Just occured toi me now there's a word most interesting 'Tidily'.....tidies up Must mean when we put up shelves and compartmentalize so many bits of our selves We are the tide itself and all of our flotsam and jetsam Are being tossed by the energetic waves that spill out of our turmoil and current and flow of God's wealth mmmm some talk of bucket lists and those unwritten goals that we may yet turn into our life's shopping list a house holiday a husband or wife and our children a car skiing sailing exhibition top selling book lovely meal or various identities into which we might fit I have been graduate student husband and various kinds of a artist a muralist embroiderer illustrator sculptor of clay printmaker in screen etching plate wood engraver lino cutter and mono printer canvas portrait landscape portrait abstract acrylics on and watercolours painted on wood cloth and paper oils on panel mural in emulsions chef baker vegetarian baker and salt dough maker a life of bucket lists and collages and pulped and layered paper mache

I've been a friend and myself been befriended life goes on or it doesn't it stops sometimes we have lots of pennies and sometimes we pause before we set off to the shops there are consequences from every decision and we all dream of meeting someone who can take all the hurts and make all of life's fears go away I believe we watch films read books and magazines and we all study each other to both conform and be different sometimes we feel better being accepted and yet sometimes the 'norm' suggest we must nevertheless be completely unique in some way the dance of the ying yanging tide like tsunami spills out ideas to such children as I Of course we all need some tender applause and seek caring company without which just look you'll find tears there in everyone's eyes I own nothing the tide spills around me I accept that this room looks to some then a mess I accept I am fool and both genius and still but a child that a lovely young girl recently gave such hope and such tender caress

I accept i wioll find this to do maybe but maybe not tidy should the tide in me choose to spill into boxes and lists and alphabetically coded library versions of all of those worn out and tried on layers of meaningful selves I have tried out find comfort in and gratefully worn when I go out with no real intention of drawing i see something so very beautiful in the fragmented tatty selves of the old and the young whose waves both inside and outside of have tossed them th drawings I make say look at you I'm so glad you were born

not just then as old/young /gifted Jimmy's life models but that the pencils pens itch in these fine hands of my caress are both God's crucified loving father's tender tear scooping hands at life's fountain do I accept you as kind gfst o yes i do ever so yes do i love the girl who has come and understood me do I care how things will be for her I do must i live my life alone and so so sad here without her you are all out there sotling with all life's tidal sweeps and interventions only the right wind and tiller within you will ensure God brings me and you to me i feel the fabric of you flotsam jetsam n fine fallen petals make one flower angel faery and canvas watercolour sky and head us both to a future of mutual caring where er you are i feel already married to you I accept we'll get tired be conformed to lifes pathways I accept we'll often be left with trinkets n twigs n petal and few bunches of flowers at all but on those few wondrous occasions we'll sit down for meals and we'll picnic in storms for we are rich in ways none may not see as we walk on life's shore and until God herself gets lonely and wants to draw both of us with those crucified fingers that tenderly seek to restore the petals back to her tenderest rose we will fell the pieces of flotsam and jetsam and draw God's tears in everyone's faces they are our tears though on other cheeks we see as mirrors traced by petals n pencils n soft water colours on to the tender retinas n hearts of a movie that's ours amen

everyone matters

its important to let everyone matters even those that do hurt us do too jesus said forgive them for they know not what they do if you yourself were not a small piece of sacrament bread from the one bread were not a grape from the vine become water and wine then how would your value be salty andunderstand this sad song? You matter and so do the ones that have hurt you they did not know just what they do Nothing is going to be wasted that God tenderly nurtured corrected and put back the one pathway through the garden put down the 'horror scope' ' for they are fiction and do NOT never could or have seal(ed) your fate that's twixt you and a generous artist sculptor animator scientist genius both male /female/totally 'other' author not limited by man's manipulative schemes FORGIVENESS so vast tis an ocean yet one need not return for more hurt and you won't make the same mistakes twice if you look heavenward and take on much more compassionate values like that of forgive n forget n move forward learning to trust in the LORD LADY author of everyone's hearts not just their's amen

Whilst

I love the word 'whilst' and how it invites represents and gentle nudges the world's fabulous simultaneity and mais ouis but of course multi tasking for we all breathe n dream as we sleep eat smile gaze as we eat drive using one hand for the wheel two feet for the speed as our eyes scan the road and the mirror and reflect all the time on the long journeys all of the time so bonjour tout le monde good mnorning to all of the world 'whilst I have been typing this I have bee listening feeling and my feet touching the rag rug and my ears hear the milk float go bye whilst youv'e been reading this rhyme you have been feeling its beat whilst your heart beating so then has mine so how sweet and how neat whilst wearing your pants n licking your lips taste the world's salt beneath all our house and clothes all the adams n eveses still naked neath fig leaves and sharing the simultaneous sap oozing up through God's weel ropoted vine and I will say it again go read you psalm one plant yoiurself where ther water still turns streams into wine and the feats of the marriages of heart soul body earth water and creatio ex nihilo will show you there's is no such thing as 'dirt' tis living soil growing nurturing whilst offereing sand neath our feet whilst our toes seek to meet halelujah for whiling away whils t the birds bees n sea tide are breathing in shared air whilst bathwater runs to wash all of those bottoms boobs tums of babes dads n mums whilst stiff upper lipped politicians seek maintain status quo and decorum well all i can say come back to reality and a gentler humanity cehz mois au chez vous that is to say your place or mine neither really for whilst thinking like this it is our author's page pen and of course so is the law's real rhythms n rhymes transcend so much stuff tis all leaves n petals to play with we must find a warm river and flow there together whilst our clothes sort of jumble together like a collage with daisies n socks pebbles leafves and joggled off shoes whiolst whilst whilst whilst is a gentle whispy breath as the fibres mutually caress the world gets back to Eden to gardens n gifts whilst not knowing so much oft not feeling the touch of shrill wondrous electricity buzzing n fragrantly seeping n oozing synapses tongues words n flutter by humming birds of paradise us we are fantastic yet extra ordinary whilst well you get the gist please continue on through you day eat it for breakfast for all is neither then yours nor then is it mine