Needs must carry on

And so I put my faith in Jesus
and I needs must carry on
the seeming chaos and confusion
would like to snare me
suggesting all my hope is gone
and yet I know despite
all the missing things
still before me is the goal.

Though others feel that I'm deluded
there's such love within my soul
so choices then well here today
I might evangelize
yet imperative I draw in town
that's where my future lies
I go in search of clips to hole
 the paper to the board
two other they are hid from me
and I cannot penetrate this hoard.

Yet forgiven by my father
I must go and purchase more
for to be amongst my neighbours painting is
exactly God made me for.
I'll have a simple breakfast
and I will walk around God's pond.

And I'll have a bath
within I'll laugh and then I may record this song
Each day there may be challenges.
Today I'm out to paint
I'll sieve the world that interests me
its in that I have my fate.
The children play in Liverpool
and miss the greater part
the architecture around the courts
that's where I'll make a start

This was once my married stomping ground
Regian House India Buildings Liver Buildings and I
I once did see the Mersey mist seem to be a fallen sky
I watched it wander up the street towards the old town hall
a cumulous nimbus casting shadows on the road and on the wall
it past before the sailor's church where Dooley's sculpture
of carpenter Joseph rid his mount and the anchor in the altar
stirs in my heart without a doubt

Some comfort I did get in prayer that led to Norma and Robert and 'Aims'
a brother to sweet Jesus had my own label that of James
so with Jesus in me working the J the I the M
John Mayall and Joni Mitchel John Moores and M and M
I dream again of Liverpool my heart lies there somewhere
I'm looking for clips to hold me down
to where my soul survives somewhere

it isn't in the cathedrals nor Hope street not anymore
and no its not in James street leading me to India building
great hall.And it isn't in Spinney house not now where
Fsaser advertising lay nor in the now invisible Henderson's
where I as Comi chef did play and it isn't in the
Bluecoat etched bedside my freinds '
warm hearts..maybe somewhere on Lime street
which is greater than the sum of its parts
its in the concerts and railway lines
the hopes and memories
it beating here within me I'll let it out that you might share and see.

I etched fond plates in the Bluecoat
and I carried warm ads to the Echo one time
they came from Palatine in Seel street
and I walked miles of town once uponus atime
from  bombed out church top of Bold street
i watched big issue sellers' prayers ascending
through the bombed out roof
where I just sang my song
a song about Emmanuel from a day in Chester time
and if a whale came in through your bathtap then
these where bubbles in God's bath

So I turn my eyes to Jesus
wash my feet lord
I'm here to make some marks
take me where you want me to the light and through the dark
help me splash the paper with the love in tearful eyes
its not my world nor our world
it is yours
for your love is so much more.

the entrance to heaven

Said to and old freiend Steve Whitby who I hadn't spent time properly with for something like thirty years that I think we are all trying to 'return to Eden' to that place before the fall.I hoped and prayed and I beleive that faith in Jesus is that he has restored our position to God,and of course as Iwrite I must always be aware that my small attempts to express share reach into God is both listened to being edited by and honed transformed continuously by the intentionality outside myself His authority authorship of the character person of my seeming 'me'If i am to be enthusiastic I must realise that whilst it is somehow I that is singing the collaged song lyrics of my sense my making sense 'of' being and having been for 61 years.Yet I am in God en theo and have always been so.Dr.Franck quoted making reference to a likeness between my
author and 'I '

The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me.Yet whilst that is cute reassuring and points out that my limited perception is still a gift and that the ye and nerve end data capture and heart felt intuitive comprehension gestalt etc is the one I have from God and through which he permits my limiting to come to terms infer and realize his UN LIMITEDNESS.

So then The gates of Eden.To kindle the bible of paper cardboard cover open that door or switch it on.
Do I believe in magic or miracle?Does believing magic or miracle it in me through the Holy Spirit.Think you know?

Paying it forward
Shipping news
A love worth giving
The Life you always wanted

films books holiday brochures
the Lord of the Rings
the game of Thrones.

metaphors and parables and paintings
chagall,sendak...where the wild things are.
the sistine chapel
an idyllic holiday
a romantic location to start married life
marriage as metaphor or as asserted marriage of mankind to author
Christ's bride.
yet 4100 denominations
my 'self'' in a graden party with kindly host inviting me on cursillo and life in the spirit course to know Jesus
but then finding the rest of her congreagtion to expect me to join the catholic church and one getting upset even being rude about the inclusion of the word Roman yet not meaning themself universl as catholic I am told means.Jesus died that ALL mankind may reenter that innocence pre the fall and through a tree rooted in Eden and being given to all of us by our Author.And why do I not say father because it seems and is rude to theose hurt by chauvinsitc gender asserted male control freaks of the past.No matter that I have not chosen my gender nor agreeing with these pigs I am culpable and therefor so is God for being limited by the word that is male Father.I will not overly stretch this.manhole cover..person hole cover.An entrance through which not camels but men pass.

I am driven not by my original stream of consciousness  search for the entrance to heaven heaven's entrance to me .Feel I have ben pulled off track away from the Holy of holy or Wholly or wholy by the devel of gender arguments.The devil wants to break communication twixt God and man man and man and woman and man and man and women twixt woman and woman.woman and man.rearrarnge these please for a amillion time until I started off on the foot you hoped I had.Aaaaaugh

So then istead of seeking the gate that the camel's eye is glimpsed at through I am now driven by the commitement to write three pages three morning pages as a kind of 'religious' commitemnt to some endeavour of hope of breaking through to a different level of awareness.This is prayer and I am to persisit .Jesus I am reminded through some refresher course words from the word  for today (yesterday's) that  a woman persistently knocked on the judges door.You have no idea how glad I was with the segui from heaven of finding that it was a woman knocking.Hallelujah.Oh the devils diferentiation mind game is making me weary as a person not as a bloke.Help!belt of truth helmet of salvation sword of the spirit shield of faith breast plate of salvation shoes of gentility

Ephesians 6:17 - And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

2 Timothy 3:16 - All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

Romans 13:4 - For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to [execute] wrath upon him that doeth evil.


So where was I before the spiritual battle took place beyond my comrehesnion intention or will .Oh yeah.Entering the Gates of eden pre fall.I beleive that when I child is born as with recent Royal Baby we can identify and look through the eyes of the child and have no doubt'where is the love' for it is all around us in the reality of parents grandparents safe environs warmth rest and protection this is heaven.We try to get back there all of our live by finding and affording the right airline ticket even gathering points of merit through the good dee of purchasing at the right store.So that we can be free and safe with family yet also wandering amongst trees with the hotel management nearby changing our room for us or being in the open with others by musical pop concert or glamping.Somewhere like Assisi where the food grows on trees and we have echoes of St Francis innocnece and life to reflect upon.Or we can enter through Chagalls love story with Bella.Or by becoming a creative artisit to paint others into our searched for planet jim the world of our own that would be selfish t keep for ourselves.yet its maintenancance depends on love and on kindness an upon God;s cherishing that hope in me.Enogh for today enough of my alonesess.Today the weathe ris mild and I have a commission of a modest seemingly crumbling home of a young enthusistic couple and their baby a house that because my watercolur eyes seee with affection will be a home not an old building which in contrast to the neighbour's needs reparier work but a quant and lovely backdrop they flow with.Hallelujah.And for my part I have tried to use those things I used to teach to enhance a neglected valuable hardbacked book with love so as to encourgae meditation by surrounding it with a pop up crafted enthusoasm to give it the aura of God's love,amen

a prayerful prosperity plan

it is the new tax year and \i have some goals
1.write a letter to Shirley Hughes who i would like to talk to and draw in London
as i got frustrated by the weather at Christmas I want a second trip and it would be wonderful to meet this successful artist and draw London as I had hoped.
2.A haircut today at 2.45
3.MOT on Thursday at 9 a.m if needs be i will seek to afford a new car
4.I have the tax return profit statement to do for 2012/13
5. The last assignment for the prosperous heart book is that i should make a prosperity plan
6.noting that I still have not accomplished assignment 8 of my children's writing course I have this in mind
7.Music again i would like to recommit to playing piano and yes it would be good to do grade 1
8.Studying and reading and reflecting upon Tove Janssonn
9.Finishing things the trompel'eiol and other works around my lounge.
10.Sculpture oils and story boards.I feel close to Tove.i was born on an island.I long to write picture books.her father was a sculptor.we both have a need to paint and travel and write.

I have set out my oil paints for the first time in years

So then a panel from my trompe l'oeil sits on the easel.
I have not painted in oils for years.An yet it is the most
plasticene and affectionate use of light offering all kinds of
illusions,allusions and affection caresses of life projected
and remembered.

today I hope to get the text from the powerpoint
and narrate it onto the youtube clip I seek to make
and link for the friends who are playing the charactors
in the stone soup tale on sunday


I am typing my morning pages today,because it feels
and seems and is more sociable.the hot water is on for my dishes.
I was so pleased with Michael palin and his diary keeping
and love of life and visiting old friends that I think I will do
 my best to let these become my own core values.


Romantcally I love the searle and Francois and Chagall
 model of drawing and wrttine journal although here
 I am projecting onto them.I wish to imute to them that as
 they drew they also wrote.I have I feel seen evidence of this.
I know that Chagall wrote a biogrphy and have read articles by Searle.

Frederick franck is to my mind the one who has given me the notion
 of an illustrative journalist and there is something about the Tintin
 reporter that speaks of herge's real talent and Tove jansonn's
projections are peronal diary entries too,Dylan celarly inspired by
Woody does the same >and ther is plenty evidence of both
 his and joni Mitchell's drawings and lyrices relating to each other loosely.


I see that Steve and I step aside and confront Sunnets with different attitudes.
They should represent sout sea islands and freedom.Yet if I do not have the south sea island they are like a shop window or a holiday brochure teasing me with a flashy ad at the end of the day and questioning why I have.nt the bank balance to take meself oss the where the sun is moving on to shine.Why in stead of wathing thte sunset can I not just go follow it.The horizon belong to the gypsy in me,I pompously ponder being an artist if i cannot see the loveliness where i am instead of being pulled off track by that star.it is Christ's star not horoscopes and flashy page three that garishishly calls to my own heart.so you can see the equivalent i look at the crass lack of subtlely that burns your eyes out..



heho the devil likes me angry but god says enjoy the flowers I gave you.The fruit in the basket beside you the piano before you.If you are going to chase dreams jimmy then do it with my help and somedaytime sunsets of that heart of your.Why rename you itf you do not embrace and listen to your heartist leanings and meanings .it is a prayer afet all.Put Christ's heart first.be compassionate towards Steve never patronising .he sees fro the eyes i gave him and you see through the eyes i gave you.Did I learn nothing from frederick franck they ill be able to draw like themselves...you and fredrick draw the way God shos you. Amen

panning for GOLD

Woke early.What do Michael Palin, Miranda Hart, Enid Blyton and Herge have in common?well they are all heroes.My heroes.Claske franck died on my son's birthday and she had apparently had a stroke a couple of months ago.Probably at the same time as my brother.Though my brother is younger by 20 or so years, the vulnerability and reverence for life that kicked me in the heart has to wake me up to sharing and removing barriers.The facebook page has to remain public and I must become more circumspect on behalf of others when writing there,but not to share is to remove whatever point God was making when He caused it to be created.Like the Roman Roads and the willfulnessof Henry the Eighth monster that he was ,we must allow changes to rigid barriers to God and neighbour to be removed. So then sieving for GOLD.On the cover of Deliverence by Jimmy Rae we see a man I think panning for Gold.And two very significant locations relating to my son recently have been River Cottage and The Lock Keeper's house in Chester.Why? Well at the first was the marriage of my son and the first time we have played together as a family of musicians.Heart of Gold by Neil Young.In Chester we celebrated my son's 31st birthday.Little did I know that on 7th March 2013 my beloved -no one more meaningful in my life-Claske 'passed away'.

Pacem in Terris new York is on the Waywayanda(?) River  and I recall they had a sort of new year ritual of floating a boat and burning the ? past or some such.Sort of the opposite of sieving or is it?

Any way watching Michael Palin last night as he revisited the owner of a Dow(boat) 20 years on and realizing that this may be the last time he sees him.I thought of how Claske left a message on my answer phone last year when I was 60.Frederick did not quite make a 100 either.Any way

'the thing is.....' If you sieve your heroes ,what is it that makes them gold.In Michael's case reverence for people.He knows both how to win friends and influence people.His hero Passerpartout Jules creation from Around the World in 80 days.It was during John Haynes Life Coaching Course that i was invited to sieve my heroes.The idea is to find your 'core'(heart) values...'mining then for hearts of gold'.By looking at your heroes qualities you find your own empathies.Miranda Hart doesn't swear .Well not as a feature.And like Michael Palin I feel she reminds me of the children and ethos of Enid Blyton's creative children in books like The Naughtiest Girl in School.Thinkers,carers,creatives..watching John Gorman and singing Lily the Pink with him
..a bit like looking out from a heroes eyes.Karaoke is a way of sieving in the stream of the music.Herge too revisited his friend and collaborator a Chninese gentleman.And I just remembered bernard leach also had an oriental colleague too.Miranda has been playing a part in Call the Midwife and I think the writer of these books and director of these films should be raised high too.Heroes and t.v. gold.For each story line has had a bout three woven tales -always related and genius of compassion in their enactment.Her work on I'm Not Going Out with the equally courteous Lee Mack exemplifies this ability to be clever ,intelligent yet humble and without swearing.I am impressed.

I want to make my goals consistent with my core vales .Want to wrtie like Enid Blyton and realize charactors
with qualities and take my compassionate eyes around the world as Palin and Dr Franck did.And heh I like the way Michale speaks of Helen his wife,Frederick and Claske were companions on the journey and hopefully leanr to see the neck of the guitar and amplifiers with my son's quality observations..I want to live I want to give I've been a minoer for a heart of Gold .Its these expressions I never give that keep me searching for a heart of Gold and I am reminded by Neil Young   ..'getting old.. amen

So I am going in via morning pages so as to not have to look at the adverts when I upload.Fortunately whatever it is that has happened does not effect how my face book page appears to you.It is only on my machine.Found this when John and I looked at it on his laptop.So then today I will finish the sixth of the eight drawings for the new mugs.During the week I will work on their colour layers and seek the research I will need for the Hilbre island mug and the second Liverpool Waterfont one.I maytake a ferry ride and use the panporama aspect of my Samsung Ace.I am now into my fourth week of the prosperous heart book course and it is about CLEANING HOUSE.Interstingly illustrated by these facebook unwanted ads.Perhaps when finances permit I will get the ipad I promised myself and rid myself of this old laptop that doesn't want to do wifi although kittted up for it.it also has a sad old battery that is expensive to replace.The watchword if to remove'clutter' It is always good wehn I spring clean any time of year.The emptying brings  huge infilling of the creatice comic cosmic awesome Holy Spirit breath of life.Two big goals this year to PLAY OUT i.e write some songs and do open mike ...brave yes!  I can be and will be! and to do assignment eight which will probably be a comic strip if Izzy Pop the detective.Any way want five minutes of stillness and some piano playing and maybe a little tidying before i cath my 77 bus so ...that all folks!!!!!!!!!!.There and not one advert intrusion.I will come see what it looks like now..though as i said these ads do not appear if you go on my page.You propserous blessed ones. Less clutter more clarity =prosperity you were not even aware of perhaps?

thoughts of searle

So then to make a commitment and revise some goals and hopes and sustainings.
first i will look to the word of God I opened the Gideon's bible and chose to paddle in via Mathew after the genealogy to the virgin birth and Joseph's initial thoughts of divorce and browsed gently the magi.then my eyes alighted upon Alan Mackie's Book of Hope pages i had removed to bring with me.They are from a book by Billy Graham he had been given as a gift.he had these placed; this book and other's, on the table at church when downsizing to move into the flat.

psalm 45.6 is quoted
a scepter of righteousness
of your kingdom

The King of Kings
from birth he was recognised
Herod realized there was not room for 2 thrones
H
is enemies :

'no one ever spoke like this man!'( john7.46)
'my Lord and my God!' says 'doubting ' Thomas

and then i turn to today and the word
'catch the little foxes that spoil the vine'

perfection is no trifle says Michelangelo
when his friend could see no change in the marble after hours away
he pointed to the little nuances of muscle tone and softenings

We are asked how many marriages broke down because we failed
to attend to the little things that spoil the grapes...athletes lost competitions
through similar lack of muscle tone

the big picture yes
the bringing into focus also though

only when i am faithful in the small things will God bless me with the greater things
little foxes like resentments,habits,dishonesty...Nip them in the bud!'think better thoughts
do better actions,rehearse better ways deal with them and watch life change.amen



Prayers then for a gratitude of heart an entrusting to God a letting go and a believing


lord i pray over the geek squad and insurance money as the shp says see the bank and the bank say see the shop and three friends say its too much and yet it spoils my joy and so i pray that it would not and that whilst proactive my purpose is to find quality expression not perfect control but your blessing for you say' my burden is light'...

goals whilst here to spend time with my mentors Doctor Franck,Julia Cameron,Ronald Searle John Mayall
a writer and artist who saw and drew a writer and film maker who morning pages and artist's dates.a man who made compositions of highlighted memories to cook with the ingredient's oof his eyes and location to cook a npancake of representative flavours sweetened and seasoned by his own intentional humour and joy and a blues musician who turned diary entries into short vignettes of life drama with positive attitude and psalmist honesty


downstairs the pisture rail and upper panel of the room are painted white and the paint spills into a neat yet sumbled edge in readiness for the next layer of colour to wave from floor to picture rail.Whilst chandeliers have the candellabra feel they are more modern small lamps but appropriate to the room

The usual bowls of various creals and hot milk coffee sachets etc with jugs of juice.
Polite waiters work to script and tea is served and so is toast and a few varities of boiled and fired breakfasts. A couple of large bottomed ladies add the the levels in the room as they float like boats on a dado rail sea level to get their cereals.three hairstyles one nervous English fringe like a large eye brow hangd tufty spring like over the points at the top outside corners of her spectacle she is shy unable to hide and almost curtsey's to the door to get through unnoticed.the american lady hasn't got the surrrealistic paisley that searl might have given her,but the pattern more subdued is a small sea that fails to hide the stern of the bid black bum bum.a more tempered three layers of englishness has bacl slacks with a little pink of calf beneathe a shirt/dress of open black housecoat and black tee shirt with two rows of perals with no sag though her neck is not fat her hair is coloured red and is that simple silk pair of cuves cut at the in facing wave to hold he head onto her neck like a ball  joint...the american ladya ll one bowl of mousy invisibility.

the streets that took me to my trafalgar are a diagon alley taking me diagonally to my acute reflex past the right shoulder of penn club bright cheery face the windows are creatively christmas one has  6 or so over two windows american post boxes on posts with their fronts open on a couple into fun crhsitmas world or are one together with birds and the pub fronts are like ornate carvings painted a hundred times so as to become rooted and gnarle in their rich forst of ornateness drawing people into an imaginary world of ale n merriment and bawdy wneches ---or that is what the whisper in my eyes seek if i were honest brave and could imgine finding a sincere bride in there somewhere but no empty as an unused church is this hope except i have faith that somewhere in this eccelisates emptiness god awaits me to speak to his little boy and make a happy little artist of him one day the day the blessed holy day amen

that may be the whole of what i am able to say woke up tired and long to find a way in to the drawings i desire to see arise form simply being here with my heart and my god and dostoyevsky.\back to the traflage square dream world then ....\mrylebone station is needed on sunday how to get there?