Sunday, 23 April 2017
Who can really make sense of life's fragments? Not me for seems forever n all of my short life I've so tried What is love or a nest that is worth remaining and playing with fragments of sticks leaves n flowers and grasses should tenderness hide behind pride? Love is two birds and a collection of pieces two make sense of together recognizing something mutual they both feel deep down inside yet as they look past their beaks at each other blinking two tiny black dots that are eyes two gether to gather and make a mutual jigsaw yes for one another and the whole of creation besides for they needs must be a light not only then for one another but for the broods of children they love so dear darling decide whether th love that old jim 's feeling for you you'd dig a pit for and bury for ever denied.
Sunday, 8 January 2017
mmmm still like the line from a Bowie album ...might be Hunky Dory 'we were so turned on by your lack of conclusions.' My mum seemed to have a mental cog that sought to blame 'who did this?' Admittedly she also had a compassion seeking to forgive line 'Jimmy always leaves his mark,as if he wants to be found out'. Anyroda....when setting out to do some pondering n musing the upshot seems to be a game of 'my idea is best'. Morning pages is Julia Cameron's invitation to mine the mind and just pour out words.yet we are so or I am so unaccustomed to ' jamming ' and letting the sugar in the fruit of the words just bubble up sweetened to spread on my joy that instead I try to have an intro and a three point 'argument and a conclusion. the thrust seeming to want to arrive at the station of conclusion because all else ...i.e. the flux of just 'being' has been directed through synaptic gateways like sheep to a pen that says 'profit' 'benefit' 'wisdom' 'epithet' 'novel'... so if the words are a conveyor they are on the cliche belt and cogs of heading towards the seen before known and verifiable product piles compartmentalized and ready to be utilised functionally. Not mindful Pooh like joys of musing mindfully glad that thunks chunks floated past n through and around toes up noses through blood stream and offering little boats in a river and a bit of paddling sand pit and wood shed tinkering. Mmmm what happens if and having ideas by playing with materials. Thankfully Klee Lear Clued Oldenburg and Alexander calder pondered not jst with rhyme but colour wire and cloth and instead of making sense made senses taste sounds sift grins of sand and poured fuel into the wonder 'So turned on by your lack of conclusions.' I'm okay you're okay was a lovely little Monet noticed as plausible and joyful whether child to child adult to adult or parent to parent by a book entitled the Games people play by Eric Berne M.D Imagine all was heaven. my spin on John Lennon's song for he than asked us to imagine 'all the people living life in peace' Be like a flower a bird a child be like one of these mmmmm the young Arthur in the sword and the stone enjoyed his meditations sadly he didn't get to stay in Eden as he was apprenticed to rule. An error I feel insomuchas these conclusions of grandeur are handled well with Cordelia's unconditional love of her dad the king mmmm i can feel myself reaching a conclusion for the less than comical Lear seeks to share out his kingdom to those poisoned by the Trump Farage win at the expense of all others unlike them expense Winning and owning and me me mine are crap tune a lousy conclusion and really crud lyrics hence Syd Barret is a joy Nick Drake is a fruit tree showing the truth in 'fame' and the reason that Tom Bombadil didn't develop the plot but was a bit like Tolkien and Lewis's own worlds of dwelling in an impressionist Pacem in Terris. perhaps Dylan's asking 'what are you saying?' with the lyrics that snapped the Beatles from 'love love me do' to 'gona start a revoluion-count me in /count me out' wasn't the best invitation and though he enjoyed having a band and going electric he too prefered the love love me do of sitting on this bank of sand and watching the river flow dock of the bay direction.... see how conclusion come to grab one and pull you down with them its why iam seeking to crochet knit and tinker with bits n pices fro the playing with colour allows the Eden like childhood of wonder to offer me the flowers and the myriad fruits of ...mmmm wel wells of water full of potential and Tove is good too at not reaching conclusions but somehow mysteriosly steaming a thought in a musical way that feels like a good ponder with shape unpredicated unpredicted mmm a window
Sunday, 23 October 2016
At present after realizing my single-hood is going to be prolonged I have nevertheless also accepted and pro actively sustained a life time's dynamic of transformation and change. Soloists and single flyers include St.Francis of Assisi Amelia Earhart,Antoine De Saint-Exupéry's Little prince Mother Teresa .Herge's Tintin,St.Paul,Jesus Yet some people i.e solo artist's are not un-partnered. Even in fiction Tintin has Snowy.And in Little prince the solo pilot is a meditation on another who is from another like Bowie's major Tom . In my child's mind I always hoped to be Adam in Eden with an Eve who a kind author brought into the garden where I had been planted. When there was no girl there was instead paint pens and paper and later the lady was a musical instrument from harmonica to ukulele to guitar violin. Yet despite some lovely God given Eve's who walked into and out of the Eden I shared none stayed. Just reflections projections hopes dreams and traces in lyrics riffs doodles and melodies and movies. Each Eve imagining her ideal Adam and each manifestation of being their Adam proving not to be not for me an Eve of something lovely and lasting. The solo flying of harmonica has always enjoyed the sky provided by other musicians skies often duets...with various friends Steve,Simon,Jim and David often to some heartfelt song about losing the lady or the loneliness of Eden or the sky to fly in over and out of it as with praise in the altar with Simon or rock n roll with Steve,Jim or Dave of course there is even then the splitting oneself into sky and bird and author as one takes a string instrument in one's arms a harmonica in a cradle lyrics in one's mouth and flowing heart becoming a pretend duo group or momentary movie romance of reflection. This is like doing a mural or a commission for another always best when for a couple for then like a midwife of emotion one gets to record their flight with the wings of imagination God gave you this is I feel like being a hymn writer God takes on a shared group reality and mutual reverie when a church is lifted by a praise 'group' groups then are concerts i.e concerted mutual efforts to provide the flowers tress and ground and sky for each other's comfort whether it be illusion or reality is of no matter just as when two lover's spill all they are into the common shared river of their mutual lives Pacem in Terris may be found whether it be Wirral Ukulele Fanatics Beatles Jimmy Rae and the Moonshine Girls Pink Floyd or the wise decision of Bob Dylan to work with a band or John Martin or Van Morisson to be tempted towards orchestra yet one's mind and theirs too in the case of John Martin and Roger Waters a deep and loving empathy and reverence for the lost sheep soloist who give their sermon's on the mounts like the fools on the hills they are Nick Drake-living on solid air- a tough flight that one Syd Barrett -piper at the gates of dawn-wish he was here and when he was flying solo Bob put it well the answer is still 'Blowing in the wind like that harmonica Bob borrowed that plane from Woodie there's a star man waiting in the skies well if there wasn't prayers would be just thin in and not so solid no one to pipe in the dawn no fool on any hill to play day after day no sermon on any amount of mounts the front line is either an Eve or a few disciples on an Emmaus Road hoping they walk with Psalm 23's shepherd neath Psalm One's trees beside The River man
Sunday, 25 September 2016
and to let ground lie fallow in readiness of newness of life soil that is seething with anger has no nutrition then it can release like mustard gas and other poisons it contaminates right down the line needs must seek nutrition nand sunlight and the touch of the life giving vine de vine divine is the spring tide the word filled with love yes and sometimes remorse offering mercy and parent affection in the face of the devil's serpent whispers 'divorce' lie fallow let time n tide do the healing but not just time but God's healing unifying humbling and extravagant love I feared the cul de sac of false comfort zones of complacent conclusions yet disintegration of too many choice b turns good soil into a potter's field of broken homes broken prams broken children where Judas lies surrounded by coins and dinosaur bones of confusion drunken Noah's picking his teeth of the harvest as he feasts on the raven and dove we need to listen once more to the father and the mother of wisdom of life lie fallow awhile in the chrysalis there's no hurry to make her my wife i shall tenderness and to myself more compassion no broken fool who a Samaritan needs then to spend his/her last dime God will water my mind with the wisdom of enoughness showing me resources I still need to share finding all of the things I still have to give then and to give it with joy and not at a whipping boy whim I am God's and Holy Spirit in the sky I'm a little dog who laughs as he watches all the cows as they seek to jump over their bad rising moons at dish he is longing to spoon. Lord thank you right here on my doorstep you bring laughter and humour and light I have seen mighty prayer of forgiveness as people fallow are drawn back up to live and to fight but the fight is not one of bullying nor insidious aggression everyone's trying to do of their best if i am quiet its to help others come forward even hound dogs an old urban spacemen must know when tis time that they gave it a rest asking who if any were they so trying to impress my main admiration for all of our leaders is when they seek out core values and fresh manna in songs someday we'll all climb in the boat and go fishing for men on the shoreline and my friend Simon sez will pray in the breezes the wonderful rose that got trampled and then Jesus himself will walk with us all out on the water and the names of those we had had lost we'll remember and the circle will no longer be broken and its true daddy sang bass and all the little children with mummy were happy well fed on the loaves and the fishes water turned wine and we all sang along. amen
Compassion and humility are indeed closely related and needs must be balanced with gentility and with kindness. Both for oneself and those who are going to be affected by one's presence. (I use the word 'one' not to be posh but because to say 'your' can have an accusative ring. And to say 'my' makes all I say sound closed in and closed off from usefulness for other's) So how is our 'oneness with each other?Our empathy? Our sympathy?Our accessibility?Can we relate? St Francis or just plain 'Frank' if we like, for holiness may be a problem for each of us. The word 'saint'either needs humbling down or raising to a more common human aspiration realization or vulnerable tender hardheartedness perhaps? What do you think?(here I felt the inclusiveness was to acknowledge your otherness to my singular yet common humanity.For whilst not one of us is an island entire of itself nevertheless we are each different (but even that when absorbed 'I' feel to be our common human feature viv a vis we are each a person it is always 'personal' and our unique yet common vulnerability our individuality means we each of us can experience the despair of 'no on understands 'me' and R.D.Laing points out well in Knots that 'I experience you and you experience me but I will never experience your experience of me. And you will never experience my experience of you. Before I explore this seeming digression further I feel the need to return to the blog's title and the first line of its intended thread. Finessing Compassion and Humility. I fear that when I /one / you i.e any of us separated or collective individuals seek to show compassion we may fail to 'seek to understand rather than seek to be understood'Frank's words to us saint or not he seems to have something to shift 'one's' potentially arrogant stance Thus we impose the concept and belief that we belong to the group whose thread of thought and action is correct. (very often assuming other's agree simply because they for self protection from tyranny choose to stay behind the barricades.) Mmmm and I fear the over humble position of the leading idea and general ambiance needs no adjustment just to be acquiescent and polite to a leader , who they have not noticed is flawed and becoming h#armful left uncontested unchecked and not adjustable.(Always has to be right and has lost the gumption and lubricant and buffer of humour and its springy elastic flexible compassion and humility and common decency and humanity. I love that Eric Berne in the Games people play ' offered the traffic light identity of each or our egos as parent adult and child which really can be caricatured as arrogant superiority common decency and unruly and Thomas Harris M.D or just plain 'Tom' or St Tom if we collectively choose creted this model of positions I'm ok you're ok (adult) I'm okay you're not okay(parent) I'm not okay your'e ok(victim-child)) We're not okay(despondent children who think their adults are damaged and the situation is hopeless) I feel Fritz Perls offered us something better I am not in this world to live up(or down) to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up(or down ) to mine if we do that's lovely if we do not its just too bad that line is where compassion self assessment and common courtesy become useful I would also recommend getting hold of the book on Practical Medical Ethics by Dr David Seedhouse for the chapter on self fulfilling prophecies i.e when a doctor doesn't listen just as when Jeremy Hunt doesn't listen I illustrated it but I would also plead as offered by Sue Jeffers on behalf of the pictures there 'if a thing is worth doing it is worth doing badly' a sort of PUNK response akin to Fritz's pearls of willful freedom And music ..never trust an inflexible metronome such gnomes are mechanical discompassionate accurate only in their Nazi march lacking natures rests for a breath here or there i think a little arrhythmia is more common human a feature than a programmable heart beat
Monday, 29 August 2016
Can you overthink something? Can you overpray? can you over play? can you over rest? There we have already started to examine some of the questions to gether. have we gathered anything yet? Mmm ticky...perhaps that everything EVERYTHING is questionable? Is questioning the question and the authority of the one questioning 'OVER' thinking? I don't think you should OVER think how you are feeling although mindfulness when eating is that not savoring and REALLY tasting? Savor the flavor of how you feel what you taste. Invitation instead of question...mmmm there's not the rub but the nuance. is it True? Is it Honorable? Is it in the person's Interest? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? Do I overthink by a) giving values or learning values fro each letter of the word THINK? b)can one over THINK 'thoughtful'ness when caring? e.g did the Samaritan overthink his response to the man in the road that had been attacked by the gang of robbers c)what kindness is being offered when a friend offers as salve or Savlon the brokenhearted the word s 'Don't overthink it' A) Is the name of a Christian group look to be differentiated from others as one might choose a colour or team.So here the suggester of the name: A lovely curly haired gentle soft spoken friend and also a young caring dad, wants to imbue or offere a useful tool. The tool itself a sort of can opener for kind heartedness. YES overthink...even edit one's thoughts so as to act more like the Samaritan. B)Yes one can overthink thoughtfulness when caring for spontaneous acts of generosity must not as the bible suggests 'let the left hand know what the right hand is doing'. When you kiss your girl don't blink or unrisk.Risk. C)My friend is reminding me of my own habit of exhausting myself and seeking to second guess God. 'Be still and know that I am God' Another friend when I sought the same comfort asks a question 'Does the girl you are smitten with know Jesus?' Again the action is kindly.Inferred is does she share your love and surrender to something greater or is she overthinking and trusting her own instincts and intellect or surrendering to faith is love itself? What do I think ? What is my conclusion? Only that I feel sad. That I never want to unhug the girl I 'fell' for. That thinking will not help my feelings yet only by realizing and allowing myself some answers do I get to come to terms with my sad situation. Knowing or allowing the thought that she is 'on the rebound' her words not mine,do I then accept the boot. She isn't ready for another relationship. I must not of course overthink the word 'relationship' to relate to empathize with to share to care to dialogue to mutually think relationship counselling is over thinking seeking an overview seeking the view that God offers perhaps when questioning anything or surrendering to something one should watch the first word over I am under God is over understanding requires I do not over think but surrender and shelter past tense it is over it is finished accept it well that's putting myself into place everyone enjoy the relationships that I am being denied see I failed to take the advice because of my feelings and the girl has failed to allow our new feelings to flower because of hers acceptance= not overthinking,but understanding....that as Sue jeffers said 'it is all happening perfectly just not ours the antithesis being 'they are playing a game of not playing a game if I show them that I see the game I will break their rules and they will punish me..I must continue to play the game of not showing that I see the game (R.D.LAING Knots) One is told never ever ever give up. Persistence is proactive mindful patience.i.e 'don't simply do nothing' Yet when one plants seeds one then waits.My only fear is that I may bury treasure and the manna goes off and I 'miss the moment'.But i have to back off.I loved the end of Nottinghill.......resigned to his fate he put her off.Great if you have a team that will drive you across town to find her,but not so if you have neen given Julia Robert's part anbd you awit the female equivalent to Hugh Grant Some will smoke some with overeat over work over over over it is over but not my life I think Venting is what the internet the blog the facebook page is for. I now seek a song to finish.I will share this to facebook and the other morning pages for as Jimmy Rae sings in a quality assertion song 'This is what I do'
Thursday, 10 March 2016
Willfulness and unmerciful cockiness are an arrogant way of going about things. I think we can all if we are honest recognize our sinful selves in this assertion or if you like confession.i.e of course if we are 'willing' to be honest. Forgiveness. it was suggested by Rob Parson's in his d.v.d /video talks from a book by the common title 'the Wisdom House',i by an act of personal will.yet as the leader/friend of a small house group concurred to highlight and reinforce this remark or perhaps assertion,it occurred to me that maybe it isn't. For I noticed in that one has chosen to surrender acquiesce ,let go,forego judgement,transcend personal hurt it is really a divinely assisted denial of one's willfulness. We had realized ,mutually as a group, through study of Russel Crowe's depiction of Inspector Javert in Les Misérables that the willful inability to forego on'e assumed legal rights to assumed common justice leads to suicide.That to not forgive is to imprison oneself inside the bars of a systematic prosecution not just of the pursued but oneself as the pursuer. Whilst to forgive oneself and to forgive others for causing us to feel that we had ,been placed in the untenable position of needing, to steal our daily bread, was liberating/liberation.Jean Valjean's willingness is brought about by the generous act of Bishop Myriel . Divine example is both a gift and a transmission of the Holy Spirit out flowing I am reminded that my dad asked me 'why is money called 'currency'? And his delight in sharing the insight 'because it is meant to flow. Perhaps not being able to forego the pernicious rules Javert had like Judas decided to pop himself in the Seine as an act of reinvestment in the Potter's field of the Author of the coin and the vestment of authority. Divine is 'of the vine' and what we feel to be will may be just the Secateurs of the gardener-the vine dresser.