Saturday, 31 March 2012

a halfway house twixt hope n heaven

'you have been measured and found wanting'
these are the words we all dread
word of a dissatisfied wife
and intolerant employer
a judgemental God
a selfish exacting parent
a gardener chucking out weeds
ourselves with a neurosis of disappointment
appointments and tape measures that will not reach
working out of tune
i tried to draw up an elevation of a wall
and wanted an inch in tenths only to find the rulers like to use the older metronome of  4 4 rhythm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


i have been found wanting by a wife
i have been found wanting by a college
i have found others wanting that is after all what all writing of this kind is

wanting

wanting my own way

an expression to cut us down to size
castrate frustrate fail us all


forgiveness Jesus the friend who says they are crucifying me next
they are saying to God as they did when i offered them manna
as they did when they wanted to eat of my vast immeasurableness in Eden
when they took out their snake of tape measure their square rules their scales and doubting the
associative joyful morphous expansiveness of the gift and chose a little piece and ate its dissapointinjg shallowness
when they said am i bovered
yet they are the teachers not the vicky pollards
oh

so forgiveness then is the unmeasuring the satisfying the readjustment of this selfishness
i will give them back this lovely thing of simply being
i will forgive them and with the holy spirit i will chuck the metronome and the decimalpointlessness
into the potters feel with the bag of gold and pass judas a big lump of clay and love him better i will repent of my unkindness and i will myself breath hope into the halfway house to help the family not to shiver in discontment and have a man fit his wife her breast bring him joy and let the children know they have loving parents and there will be a stone soup universality instead of a stuck and stayed itself betrayed no don't bother to get the elders ready to measure my prophecy for i am the voice of my father and yours i am the child that rather than lead you will move in the mix from volume to text from scribble to flow from impulse to seed from blossom to bee to mountain to me the elders are a nice group of children who are reluctant to call themselves either prefects nor perfect neither disciples nor inner core spokes of a we'll doind wheelies and reallyies and reels of threaded possibles but unable to thread the hole less bebbles of other fellowships that have closed sotne hearts so they get rounded by the tide but become unfasteanable buttons shall they be flattened to play tiddly winks to fire each other into hot tar treacel to make n=bonfire night treacle tofffe or parkin cake

oh black is the new white starry starry holy night all forgiven


where is the pay dirt that is julias measure of the scrolling morning pages suddenly that warm buttery burnt smell of morning toast of hot milk on puffed wheat why are somedays to have a different flavour i would have loved her metronome if she were not cutting my willy off with it would have loved her soft mothering mum ness if i were not being scissors by her 4 4 scale when i found decimals and elastic paper mackhe chords of mixed measure that had not differeentiated twixt softness and gracefull hammer ons and the smouldering fragrant possibilies of diving neath the water instead of unwinding endless lenghts of same
yet now i harvest more slowly the tunes i am left with i give myself more kindly to the untimedness of her gift and forgive her i h=jsut wanted 'spapce; her way of appealing to me once oh the heartless devils we all are

 a poor friend beleieving i am in a bad place does not want to be on the edge of my metronome as all the names i mention now are new to jim we are out of time
but still inside a whole range of musical possibilities oh steve i am sorry life has filled me with an ocean of remorse dissapointment and hurts that i do not want nor need to share forgivenes and the unmeasured fall of our shoes with hope of sharing leonard cohen in london and perhaps scribbling on a nother instrument enough of the harmonica unless there is also a guitar in  hand or i could just lsyen to your deep bless make them ultra in their mariness and torquise in their oceanic ness and may the black in theoir indigo make the moon sit out in 2d joy like matisse papercut ckleanliness amen

and let some kind custodion serve us both up with gods friut in a crumble of care with warm vanilla egg custrard
packages with wood engraving fro leverhulmes' shop gallery farm amp homes of bauhaus klee kandisny synaesthesai 60s pop gro[phoics

Dear Lord

push the buttton
of our mutual hardrives
bring us all back to life in a shared magazine a higher strreet to share of shring being more somethinhg loving hello you



a sensitive loving gentle whisper of music is seiving my mind caressing the thought a flute and a landscape by debussy  is harmonising mee yet does not know it justas this lovely bowl of muesly the plastic bowl i bought with another to holiday with amy  in paris bought in brighton we ate on harbour wall or paris street simialr muesli i am sure aaah she sends me her photogrpah to loin together a view froma madrid window mountains and space and homes


today there is a prayer walk give em something to say share with people walking let seandra be there perhaps

two kindnesses to myself are beforeme on tha little tin that does not have mints in youra are lovely may flowers of happinness endlessly grow in the sweet enchanted garden of your heart looks like edward mongton? the little tin has my five beach pebbles in

the other is the mug and saucer although it is small both covered in hearts


sort of want to infer have you read my mind or see with symmpathetic accuracy somehow

the violin section is nowscurrying and rtumpets and a swirl this is good cinematic debussy


woke with bloggable depth asking how to break into myself

this followed from other thoughts about to whom do i write to whom are my thoughts deires=cted even before i choose i am sending them are they anywhere being received |God do you hear is this the really good knews
alright no immediate reply yet being alive still infers soem sort of miraculous susatined being a premeditated god sized response to my awaited seeking yet it is seeking to a forthcoming companion simple shariong soul like those who have died mostly men who were kind yet i always seek still seek that perfectly lovely intimate girl my girl trusting rightly this kindly person behind this still small searching me that have has is god for my life is god given god owned is the true identity idea id  i dee as the fremch say what is your idea idee without the a identify your latest occasion of realisation its purpose the you that htis fruit lets the tree exist to influence and share this stream these similar salty of fresh water seeing being encouraging streams of common yet un commmon seasoned sustaining life thoughts?
a question mark was asked for

funny that

by whom was the question mark asked for
won;t put one itt is both statement abstracted thought semiologically imperect stand alone text waiting for purpose meaning or identity is it refusing am i
in its ignorance to comly with an unesecary convention?
there i have put one to satisfy the stream that wanted to carry a pebble to the further shore of the imainary paper of this scrolling endless beingness yet tis not endless i am out for a jog whilst there is mind to jog with and trainers on my fingers to race about the keys pebels neath my fingers raised with capital letters on whilst the text coming out is lower case insosnsitently oh weel never mind

mind
is thought

we are all minding all og the time

i can mind my mind some of the time but cannot mind all your minds all of the time

do i mind

woud you like your question marking?

there is a prayer walk today
and the birthday boy's exhibition came down
the show was an answer to my prayers
my birthday exhibition was provived by god through the kindness of sue with the encouragement and kindness of margi and the streams of associative carings flowed in such a lovely way sorry i forgt those who arenot on facebnook dave and viv oh lord that we shall have that big party when jesus invites us into a street beach field perhaps our prayer walk today  i will having run out of tea and musli go and text sandra in case she might like to go on the prayer walk she can enjoy lots of kindly chrisitan souls dancing ina forward stream together through the street oh to know how to play piano be a band i will play bass with kath n others on sunday eveing oh i was so pleased when ex students polly n kathy opened the moose at oxton wish i had seen it when they bought is now they have split up and my interiors teaching at southpaorthas run its course and the water is spread out as friends have evaporated but not without watering the plant that is jimmy


thank you for memories of the arts n crafts sign dave and i wrote and babs the owner yes yet another barbara

oh the flute in this debussy piece has not idea how beautifual its identuity and the player even the composer did not really know the bird in my heart that flies when i listen


?

do i write to me
to you
tO you lord \god
to furture girlfriend to kindly companions like my old printmaker friend arthur or to arthur the technician who made the canvas and the plaster moulds that formed my first class honours degree
i had a large floor and rolls of linene and i batiked a theatre set with goerge grosz cartoon once rob was 2 i was was litening to john martinwho was still intact and perhaps living in a barge in chester and some friends of my were young and laddish and partied there oh to be so momentayily important
it was a fab party my sixteeth thank you god said in the voice of the welsh commedian who just saw julia roberts in the bath will i ever see julia roberts in the bath again i wonder lord god

this is not pornography

this is life

Friday, 30 March 2012

thank God


izzy pop sat at the back of the old book shop watching a fly hammering iteslf against the glass
the old bookseller was counting the tills takings and looking worried someone had been stealing books
mainly music books but also some books by ronald searle the illustrator's death had made them very popular grnada had shared a beautiful book about mrs mole and told her it was about his wife or for his wife.

she wondered can art heal?
for mrs mole the wife of the japanese prisoner of war st trinians artist 
had lived through cancer and had alos received lots of pictures from her husababnd

poor old grandad he longed for noteworthy love to find him but he said it had to be real not just a convenient friendship that inconvenienced her wahtever that meant he did not say

who was stealing the books someone who liked music perhaps the school music teacher miss brazendale or her son  

morning pages her grandad prompted so she picked up her netbook and opened her page she sometimes thought she would do waht garnada did and paste into facebook to get someone to read them but then that was just silly 
if they were prayers shouldn't they be private?

prayer walk tomorrow grandad said aloud to remind himself 
several churches would gather together to walk and grnada liked the idea of meeting kindly souls the ones who might see them walking together not the christians who were on stage

granda was funny both privat and yet needy of reassurance so he would take his cross to the watefont next good friday but the yoke part would be his latest birthdy painting entitled 'planks fo rht memory'

oh today i have been tired said jimtheartist to himself yesterday was a spectacular artists date and he had on the new shirt and trousers but no one noticed in blue moon were he worked as a professional dreamer
people would come in and he would decidely not interpret anything but the random chance thougths of the pen and the brush and the tired mind he carried almost everywhere he wouuh materialld simply ttrace the whole of the nonsense as it came to his rem that is read each movement or render excellent meaderings or rapidly excell meself or reach early muttering realx enough man romulus excats money rub elbows muppets 


oh the teddum of none genius to fall back on or even read extra material regret eating muffins regularly ensure marriage rex ex mex rible edible mabel monbblle  right enog


so sometimes io find the curser has wandered and even if what i said made sense then it would need pasting back together morning pages are not meant to be an essay nor anything just spontaneous writing to get me used to the notion of writing like scribble caused drawing i hope thinking will cause narrative lot palnning be blowed pro temp.....


today i got up at soemthing like 5 had a bath went to brookdale at 8 remeaured the mural walls 
chated to the caretaker who was a great listener seemed genuinely encouraging and lsitening 
it is now 6.30 today i have brought back tow oils from dee priced a single metial bed for 100 pounds and responded to some questions in the artist way oh aslo befor egoing to dee i ran hot water for the dishes and fogret all about them i am peaceful but tired beleieve i did soemthing brave going to southport and am glad to have a new pair of shirts and a trouser

i stitche my colourful cross on my old christian grey jacket that i feel almost invisible in a n ice feeling almost invisible ingocnito sort of thing dont ya no



the drawing for the muraslis going well though julian did not bring the hoped for pjhotos and so i have done well from those i have been given  and soem i took of st johnms church at frankby

i have trees and a japanese croll feel to match the small garedn it faces wiht hotei/putai the happy chinamen srt of empty scaj orintal santa ancient cool dude


yes like that i found phtos of rob and amy as st geaorse and the ladybit/star/bee

couldnt find the book with the arts n crafts sign do hope i find it i would love to include it too....


so then is that enough for the late in the day morning pages style blog i ask myself

i will see if any one uploaded anything and come back

Amy is in Madrid and has let me have some pics to join 
oh to be the adventurer like her i pray lord make me brave give me initiative insight and courage and continue to feed her skills with you love and blessings Amen

I will relax now justt wanted to do morning pages self companionship a dn a simple act of reflection i feel julia cameron has produced a kindly model
i have seven magazines and will look see what she said about further collage

jimmy rae has kindly offered to show me some piano riffs and my neighbour has passed me what if god was one of us i used to teach grahm guitar he made quick progress ans the fingerpicking piece is rather lovely as is the theme of the pice thank you god and graham and jimmy and amy and dee and a lot of lovely souls who make life full

this morning in brookdale i reminded myself of my little boy and girl and my collecting these tiny souls from these tiny chirsa and arty rooms the school is lovely amen



Thursday, 29 March 2012

into the dull thud of daaah i don't reallly know

with just a few friends at any one time
to pray for
hopes of understanding to grow
place one idea or inkling in sequence footsteps of ink spills n words
scribbles and doodled reflections
delibearate truths and absurds
break into a selfless monotony monogomous lonely
still proud
proud of the love of our father
prayers mumbled softly inside
i believe we will make it my artist
my child
the onky almost possession of mine
if it is just like another's giacommettis
arthur gee
ronald searles the zen of the drawings bfore any thought
oh i long to see one book iv'e not seen
the adventure unsatisfied draws me on over the ridge not allowed
frederick's thats frederick franck's
simenon's paris
perhaps i shall hold it one day
but meantime in time theres a million things mine though posssessing thems never quite mine
here in my eye's they go mouldy
or the dust settles twixt them and i i try to catch them fresh again sneak up unawares fore my own eye

today without rhyme
without job
without a reason and let that be the only reason i am going to go on a prayer and with my old age pass to southport
i would have gone to walk or meet with steve but i ignored him for years and he may feel the need to reciprocate hurts get planted and grow mostly by being unattended

i can only pray into the dull thiud again of please God you know i am thick how does this work
when i agree and understand the don't go theres of the Holy Spirit ego of self protection of forthcoming insincerity received
i sustained a 'relationship' courtship correpondence and cajoling for years with the pretty fluffy haired lady girl jill to my jack broken crown insearch of both holy hill and holy well to share a drink form just as the only romantic encounter of you book twixt yourself and the feminine though i recall the lady with the perfume at your feet she is echo to your flower of momentary ness though i cannot alike you to narcissus as you are every least of one of these persons i
of the zen of being fully human so i pray from my dull thuddiness into the possibilities of an eye kissed by another's homeliness
but i do not want another rosies noteworthy who i invent and graft into my olive branch heart form the dove of the ark of eve adam noah and mrs and mrs hopeful that the flood of the fall will be over and your return will be our rainbow as sark and polyanna loveliness brings into my heart mind

no trust
notutor no student all sucumbed to a sad play seed in things like eductaing rita and other roamnces twixt tutor and student oh rosie noteworthy hold your bow at just the right angle saqure it to the hypotoneuse your noose around your own neck of rejection to the loose time of you heartless stone metronome free to swing him into you with musical moist arrows of fresh fragrant sea breezes go to saint ives go to llanberis and find my friend arthur who draws and paints the wonder of his old ccyled peaks and lands exhausted at the door of a kindly farm and drinks ths tone soup of christ prepared supper oh the fiddle burns as rome fired cupids mythologyinto the eye of sigmund's foolish pride no psychology exist for secularist to turn the bed of their lovemaking into the couch and arbour of caring no the fishing boats are there on the shore lolled on their sides littl jodys' satisfied and dysfunctional simultaneously oh i wrote romantically my drawn text message rewrote frederick zen of seeing love letter to you from a bookshop in brighton where my life i hoped would be 'born again' a;longside amy freeing herslf from a smoking boyfreind into a world tour of hopefulness for all mankind like bob the seeds i sowed are coming into being with cribles gardens babies of adventure with plumb ripe plumline growings and frowing and knowing unknowings and the comic spirit that formed my thesis and earned me my firsat class honours degreee the study i started with the open unvisersity continued as theatre sets and with that dissertation which i am still writing at this very moment a n enlightenment of the ordinary ness of the haiku and the wordsworth noteworthy roses in vase of incense for the rose of sharon jesus to be found in old bookshops of cartoon albums record sleeves long playing dreams with the arm pulled back so the song will reppeat oh that stack of single that if i stacked them too high would skid and i would have to remove my needle from the florr i had been drilling to thread the sky into the black ashpalt of a gilmpse of ink to find you on my white virgin sheet rosie noteworthy lives i am dr dollittle i can talk to the animals of my heart the elza doollittle marries her life coach he thought he was helping her she was showering him but then she founmd another to be seduced increasingly blossomed by and no knowing glances work now as the eyes you lokook into no you are no longer seeing the one god made in this particular least of one of theses oh lord i pray for the sincerity of marriage as do my friends they want to be children and have shed loads of ideas and they also want to step into eden through a kindly gesture into the film of your writing and find saftey in the plot plan that is not beginning middle and end but is instead a pool that spills through their'parts' played out through their baby making nest buidling of shared adeventure oh remember me when you get back into the skins of this kind=gdom provide me with love and a girlfriend a house and with provision of the donkey of hopefulness as i ride to the jerualem of my crucifixion willingly if it make barbara setle and become aquiecent to the arms of her husband happily who ever he may yet be for you yourself have decided to run the ship and the ocaen and the iceberg into devasting collision to some divine a righteous purpose beyond my synapes of sinful intelleect i long ot surrender to wife mother God of God's write from the spillage of my souls desire a love song to brown eyes to van's younger hope which i witnessed in a concert in southport oh to stay overnight with my 'real 'love there the one you choose for me it will all come right
my mumand dad danced in southport will i ?will i do it well?
she does not know how to love me


can you pass a trustworthy soul the book on jimmy fleming have them read the blog book of my heart's hopes memories and dreams of making love in a car
of finding joy in a house in st ives of meeting my wife and laughin with ter in leed three separate girl and yet all the only one oh dear lord god make my mind up make my heart and let my eyes not love everything although that is the only hope in this insincere will not maintian my deligh in you sir moving onto another world and i suspect this doubt the devil has soown is it they have been fed on flirting and it will never be a proper sincere and friendly dance but one of hoped for tinglings of jealousy pretending to be amour well armour is needed and no hope of sensusal delight in this direcdtion as the unmemeber didmemeber un rememeber member is wilting and love hope and sincerity are an invalid entry and the whole thing  crashes and the girl does not know whether to balemherself or you or the devil did i not swap zen and picasso and art for the fruit of the spirit/ apparently i may not have done i rememebr seeing a fourth lover as the expensive cross she gave me swung from the mirror of my car and she seemed hyponitsed i did with this item go to a jewellwers and retrieve its ture value which was financial raher that christian we choose a talented or a rich on instead of the poor yet sincere ones it seesm yet inside like julia robert showed we are jsu another poor and sincere stanidn before a hoped for rich heartyed sincers saying for gods sake don't have me agree that this daft stuff is a 'good decision' for it is 'shite'

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

persistence stamina determination

hope and faith and trust in God
gently does it Jimmy
yet get up get on get out
belong believe
wonder if reg n Enda could own a shop
need three sections
not army n navy
not work n play
here in west kirby two lovely people ran ashop i included in a cheshire life article
their surname beach
i was going to write just about them
how one side was hers fun toys
and his army surplus uniforms/collectibles
i bought lots of plastic sea side buckets for my jim the artist business to paint watercolour from
Holy Spirit living water


so then three shops side by side
one for the dog
sally charlie and snoopy
last of summer wine
parent adult child
transactional analysis
sally with her psychiatrist booth
snoopy with his frivolous red baron kennel
my dad reluctantly accepted embraced the puppy my mum brought home for me
fit in my duff le coat poacket looked like a hamster at the end of the red leather lead
a scruffy lovely sought of terrier with yorkshire terrier colours
yes

the shop will be work and play    and rest
to gently provide joy for the beach
their childhood dream together ending in wales

i have an appointment this afternoon at rob n amy's old school
to put a mural on their wall
lovely
a collage of love for all the children and satff as they rest
after all their reg and enda-ing
hilda and stan are reg n enda and they have caused all murals to be murials
joked with su at dee
about the character that hilda plays
in last of summer wine
'customners'
speaks in the royal we i think we love customers
as if there were a partner
perfect partner would be julie walters n
that on who did an audience with
you know that pam ayrs?
of the piano v something its coming has a line in the comic song
hit me on the bottom with the woman's weekly no meekly
going to have to google it
last chance jimmy oh here we go then
women commediannes
no not vivienne west wood shes a genius spike milligan of clothing
not violet carson i think thats ena sharples
god the wll of my mind seems deep and unusual
the morecombe n wise of excellence who did the intro to that brilliant programme on
on whom thinit was eric and ernie
google

This list is limited to comedians who also played an instrument onstage.
David "Stringbean" Akeman - banjo
Steve Allen - piano
Woody Allen - clarinet
Axis of Awesome - guitar, keyboard, vocals
David Baddiel - piano, guitar
Bo Burnham - piano, guitar
Bill Bailey - various - most often guitar, keyboard, theremin
Heywood Banks - multiple
Pete Barbutti - piano, accordion ("cordine"), trumpet
Tom Basden - guitar
The Bedroom Philosopher - guitar, accordion
Mitch Benn - guitar, vibraphone, spoons
Jack Benny - violin
Mike Birbiglia - guitar
Jack Black - guitar, saxaboom
Dennis Blair - guitar
Victor Borge - piano
Albert Brooks - piano
John Bytheway - guitar
Charlie Callas - drums
Rodney Carrington - guitar
Jasper Carrott - guitar
Johnny Carson - drums
Dana Carvey - piano, guitar, drums
Tommy Chong - guitar
Chris Cohen - guitar, vocals
Billy Connolly - banjo, guitar
Jonathan Coulton - guitar
James Davies - Piano, Ukulele
Les Dawson - piano
Jessica Delfino - guitar, rape whistle, autoharp, flying v ukulele
Doug Anthony All Stars - guitar, vocals
Da Vinci's Notebook - Vocals
Jimmy Durante - piano
Kevin Eldon - guitar
Lee Evans - piano
Jimmy Fallon - guitar
Wayne Federman - ukulele, piano, guitar, drums
Graham Fellows (as "John Shuttleworth") - keyboard
Michael Flanders - piano
Flight Of The Conchords* - guitars, various
The Folksmen - guitar, bass, mandolin, banjo
George Formby* - ukulele
Zach Galifianakis - piano
Garfunkel and Oates - guitar, flute, piano, maracas, and ukulele
Paul Garner - piano
Kyle Gass - guitar
Ricky Gervais - Guitar
George Gobel - Guitar
Rich Hall - keyboard
Andrew Hansen - piano
Hard n Phirm - numerous instruments
Tim Hawkins - guitar, piano
Ed Helms - piano
Rainer Hersch - piano
Harry Hill - 'hornophone' (one of his own creations)
Homer and Jethro - guitar, banjo
Montana Logging and Ballet Co. - guitars, keyboard, bass
Eric Idle (of Monty Python) - guitar, piano
Neil Innes (of Monty Python) - piano
Eddie Izzard - piano
Hoosier Hot Shots - various
Penn Jillette - bass
Spike Jones - percussion
Mickey Katz - clarinet
Boris Khaykin - rapper, beats, guitar, piano, synth
Sam Kinison - piano, guitar, drums
Robert Klein - harmonica
Jon Lajoie - guitar
Hugh Laurie - piano, guitar, harmonica
Stewart Lee - guitar
Tom Lehrer - piano
Jerry Lewis - drums
The Lonely Island - various
Matt Lucas (as George Dawes) - drums
Stephen Lynch - guitar
David McSavage - guitar
Demetri Martin - guitar, glockenspiel, piano, harmonica, tambourine, toy bells, keyboard, ukelele
Steve Martin - banjo
Chico Marx - piano
Groucho Marx - guitar
Harpo Marx - harp, piano
Taylor Mason - piano
Kate Micucci - ukulele
Tim Minchin - piano, guitar
Dudley Moore - piano
Dermot Morgan - guitar
Kevin Nealon - guitar, banjo
The New Main Street Singers - guitars, mandolins, tambourine
Conan O'Brien - guitar
David O'Doherty - keyboard
Ardal O'Hanlon - keyboard
Rob Paravonian - guitar
Geraldine Quinn - guitar
Raymond and Scum - guitar
Howard Read - ukulele
Rhett and Link - guitar, recorder, harmonica, bass harp
Mark Russell - piano
Bob Saget - guitar
Andy Samberg - rapping/Singing
Sammy J - piano
Adam Sandler - guitar, drums, ukulele
Peter Sellers - ukulele
Scared Weird Little Guys - Various Instruments
Akiva Schaffer - rapping/Singing
Ronnie Schell - piano
Helge Schneider - piano, trumpet, guitar, drums, clarinet/saxophone
Peter Sellers - drums, ukulele
Gene Sheldon - Banjo
Frank Skinner - banjo, ukelele
Brendon Small - guitar
Dick Smothers - bass
Tommy Smothers - guitar
Spinal Tap - guitar, bass, drums, keyboard
Ray Stevens - piano, banjo
Donald Swann - piano
Jorma Taccone - various instruments
Jim Tavare - bass
Judy Tenuta - accordion
Tenacious D - guitar and vocals
Nick Thune - guitar
Tripod - guitar and vocals
Carla Ulbrich - guitar
Tracey Ullman - guitar
Uncle Floyd (Floyd Vivino) - piano
Daniel Lawrence Whitney - guitar
Tim Wilson - guitar
Dennis Wolfberg - guitar
Victoria Wood - piano
Frank Woodley - guitar
Steven Wright - guitar
"Weird Al" Yankovic - accordion
Henny Youngman - violin

there i control n b d her

Now what in my sretam on concert or conscience even did i want to say associative to add to the seasoning of the stone soup of inclusivitiyt di i want to say
can't goolegle that
not yet
oh satellites n loving Father's it has and all it Goddle coddle loved nutrured and provided for out wonderment and untilimately unfathomably for yours
give us a clue remove our need for meaning
and why is eddy listed amongst the musical commedian's
and on  piano too

i noticed ith great affection that lovley dudley moore is below tim minchin
well i think tim is a genius but does not eat off any humility and though his synpses snap and his rhymes are full on cynical and though he shakes the tree
i can see no afffetction not like dudly

but heh lets get away from compare and contrast the olympics of cometition and get back to the
joy of reconciation of oposite that fed the husband n wife caricature of victorious song





all the pople in the audience with that vintage wonderful piano
 playing and the inspiration for my wanting to play piano
rhyme with reason
i seek stamina

so then today i can go for a wlk and practice climb into explore more the book simon lent me and climb into literature and dreams of izzy pop the detetive
i did not thin much of judy moody thouth the bok felt and looked good choice of colour cober subtle brown paper feel interiors handicrat natiurals with warm rounded loose black and white illustrations
i taught illustratio
it gave me the chance to coach others in to playing their linear riffs in mannered wasy
 to align with the materil rhymes i had had written or cloned under pseudonyms in the hope of being found out and amazing everyone
yet i hear the sermon and see the truth of
give the glory to god
i reproached ed when he decided to question the man who had rescued thousands from a concentration camp and hid the fact
i defended it as true humility
and ed quite rightly said no
people should be told and inmspired by the goodness we do

it has onlyu out of context as i write he was probably terrified brave as he was that
perhaps he was still a target of the devil
humility perhaps is the only way to get the bullies to go see out dad father god instead of have them come after us
perhaps he feared that if they found him and his records through his boasting that they may find the children he had shephered to safety

work with what you have too
the religious are not to be your first choice
choose the one's still out here who like the samaritan lady have some poverty and humility still left for spending

so then today i walk play and rest

and i imagine the London calling me
a train i can do my tax return on
and my brave revisit to southport no one there that i once knew oh but perhaps the knidly printroom technician
who knows nothing there like when students would come looking for jg or richard of neil or someone who was out for lunch it migh make me very sad brave though

don't look back turn to salt


i am thinking planning of making salt dough and i will soon
do i want to plan plough on with morning pages

review on thurdsday

it is wednesday and in the other room i am trying again with the jimmy rae film footage of matthew street hope it works he earned it just by finding a venue of such merit and feeding his musician friends dreams and yes because he is good and god blessed him with a lovely daughte whose heart he longs to inspire protect endorse and benefit with a father who gardens this world with song seeds of change asking where is the love and reverently caring about a mother;
's loss of her son as a guitar is all that is left oh to scribble well yet for him on lead i must show matty all those five neck patterns that i can and will scribble on on the paiano in both hands i will show all those who have hurt me


yu know that is where i think tim minchins venom comes from too all commedians are warrios not only cutting edge but ctting words that stick stone caned bruised felled worried and abused them


my friend george had a wood work tacher who asked 'waht have you done to my wood'
oh the sap in him must have gione through some frogiving inquisition as he approached the school gatres headmastyer office prefects badge in hand at the lords bread and wine
re memver means put back together
oh the potters field where judas ended chasing the dime

like



all networking 

all threads all hopefulness

and all Holiness

come down to one word 

and no as beautiful as he is the word is not Jesus

and i beleive that jesus agrees yet 

I will just to show my focus and my heartfelt hope 

show you again the source of the cleanness of the

insight I share once more' Jesus '

before i continue in this river

what word do you click to have shared dialogue with facebook 
'like'
what did jesus say about his 
Eden-family-kingdom

i tell you the truth 
'unless you be like one of these'
what did he say we should consider being 'like
the lillies of the fields and the birds of the air
i tell you the truth he said
what you do or do not do for the least of one of these you do or do not do for me


so we are to like
to be alike in this likingness his likeness
are alike 


the cat and the dog at ian fennelly's home
 both had their ways of welcoming me

and su and i both liked the home and family of ian

jesus spoke of a cup of water to a stranger 
we drank our tea

i go fishing at dee
am i fishing for complements
of course i bait my liking hook 
but i seek to bring fresh harvested alive life giving thrilling spilling water from the brook of me


you are a river and you are not meant to be alone 
you are poured out for many
who are to like you be kind to you and like me you are 
there to find a freshness to give away
yet fishing is to capture and that is not what this fishing for 
people that jesus speaks of means 


no i stick by my liking for the idea that 
i go everywhere for the surprise i offer and that it offers
i go their to be captured by the vast ocean of grace that god had poured out in his son

holy spirit emmanuel in everyone and in me 
'stone soup' is a funny parable google it and if given a chance like it and like it lots for it is paradoxically the warm flesh heart transplant of the stone heart for the flesh heart of all


i like the work of ian garland 
and he likes
like all of us who play freely hopefully
and are placed to share same
a liking for change



as the light caught the surface of an upturned boat sitting away from the stream
and the dog brushed against my hand for liking
we all encouraged each other 
with our mutual worth and tried to make affordable but realistic the hopes in others seeing something they would like whilst enabling the river to flow so all that we like to feed off might sustain and maintain its flow through us as faces change and names become more inviting warmer more romantic and shared wit and cheekiness were part of the wonderful sunlight of givingness in the room

the holy moment of liking   

sports releif had comedians
running and swimming and runners doing stand up
telling jokes or newsreaders kicking their legs in the air 

and we like it

all the right note'liked'notes
but not necessarly in the usuallly 'liked 'right' order 
like


like each other as i have liked you amen





Sunday, 25 March 2012

it ain't necessarily so

drifting into wakefulness
fullness
little aches
mmmm
springtime in Paris
song titles and half hoped for songs from mum n dad's world
forever young i sort of am
remember
back together  through feelings reality a child with a goodly dad
whilst hurt alone and un understood miss missing someone thing friends sense of worth wothiness belonging
bb longing honer dew due any moment the post a letter a phonecall a tear in someone's eye a relevance to someone's heart o write a new song heart beat prayer for me pleas jesu friend i feel must be real as enough people have spoken to me about you witnesses but you are no longer in the dock nor the pulpit accused you are out there on a mountain a cumulous nimbus sky from my daydream class room window and all these people i miss are yet to meet and i ask an old friend to pull me up to heaven so i might arrive on the st ives morning a saint in the tate the sugar of alfred wallis hepworth and children with immortality for me to seek in books shops cobbled streets n pasties rosie noteworthy hopes are leaving my heart like a cardboard box on the sand as a butterfly leaves the crysalis
yet i believe you are listening to some refrain from the song of me
similar empathy
like one of these me s
if i will write everyday and not really know you as f i had the bravery the money the wit the usefulness
willingness to work as play escaping the self employment or employment of imaginining i go to work rather that i am invited included shown ho to arrive and gather up some bits of world rearrange them into meals or letters of albums snaps of the day take part play



so in the story i am elsewhere getting to know people a breeze is blowing and it is my life breath in me blood flowing river of motivated saying hello watching listening caring being unstinging the sting the doc leaf the scratched knee mum and dad and you and me this holy day holiday film script being agfain


still unfolding original unique origami the sounds of the rippling words that must find shelves or mouths to speak our self aware chorus of mutual ocaens of hellos stones pebbles each of us it is still early anything can and will happen we are all privately investigating and joining with a few others over tea or news papers to review 'is this how you feel it is?'

'should be?'
;should be bettter we al agree and smile and order breafast i am glad i arrived mow where di i put the key
yale or sea

what oh you want to play?

swim in the mix if thats alright
don't you want to write one of your own
will you let me?
well we have to keep these others entertained
don't they want to join in
they will be they love to listen and without them we are silent
though others jsut want to stay in chorus of business and not lend an ear let us find somewhere quieter to make harmonies so that noticably clearer sincerer songs and structures of klee like rtree forms gardens of thought might be mutually understood and enjoyed not endured

rest awhile with me i came here to hear you to hear you and to heal to kneel to pray for to and with gratitude the love that pours from heaven above amen

the rolling pouring taking part

of simply being
and being part of simply rolling
being free alive
not knowing yet saying
something delibeartely unknowing
so as to make yourself known to a self
that thinks it knows thinks iteslf known
top of its only bill endless birthday party of me

yet loves to meet a friend in a new location for tea of film or concert or in truth celebration of our mutual
each otherness
i will not only learn to dance
but alos not to do it the same way twice or even the firt time imperfectly fresh unknown

no rehearsals reversals

a friend to a friend and i spread out with sunlight pouring in said not revolutionary but



'revelation-ary' wow! what a liberating word wow!

did you know
though i don't know you
that
enthusiasm from the Greek means full of  God

i thin that is what D.H.Lawrence meant when he said
'what is the use of a man unless he has a little God i him
and what use a woman without the same?'

Conscience if science is not to be a con nor a false god Icon
is that still small something that is shared when we hear the lyric of another and cry laugh
get on their train of thought you do not need a ticket
'you just thank the Lord' amen



forget your perfect offering
broken pot
we are all cracked that is how the light gets in and out

my play on a leonard Cohen lyric
if a thing is worth doing it is worth doing


to be happy be



sue jefers and other have all been cajoling us with the Holy Spirit of get on board
do somethingness coaching training bussing biking get on board shipping river trickle of income and outcome open systems taps left on



wnet to the williamson the other day though i met a friend they are not
with me in this sentence as i turn to the van gogh and the gaugain on the wall two self portraits one of each and here are my scribbles
 we learn to do something by doing it get into the creative flow i am investigating life i am exploring being out with musicians i must get closer invite possibilities travel using my pass and draw draw draw and write write write and write evrywhere with wifi with pen on various surfaces free and happy and joyfully part of it all amen


deliberately taking part in the flow of it all giving away somethings for free
like a comedian
it is to be loved i give in the hope of flowing and inviting more flow the jive dancing is that everyone putting some ingredients from their being into the mix for everyone elses benefit amen emmanuel

so julia cameron's book suggested i sent my self ome congratutlaions and i did i sent a postive cheerful postcard from the lady lever

some others i drew in the lady lever where the mr and mrs themselves


and then i found echo a scupture to the dying of a voice in the wilderness as the love of her life that caused her very breath has gone beautiful scupture but she should have listened to the voice of the lad on the back of his dad's motorbike in zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance instead of the jackson pollocks dai freud myth of narcissus and seen life for 'herself' amen gald that the friend who likes to meet me is like my daughter aware of their own voice and ways amen
why not visit my show in its final week at De fine arts and then go visit echo and van a pual gain at lady levers gallery blessings jim the artist aka heartist a prayer

here is my own version of echo paper moon which you can see at dee

Friday, 23 March 2012

forever painted stream of possibilities

where are we now?
this is a room of people
a hidden set of hearts
and unknown themes
all dreams
the man beside me drifting off's important


the music playing
once was life's more urgent current seems
so sew it back together
with my very breath let
this Curtis Mayfield song come home
train of faith or
just a song
a prayer a psalm
i bought some dancing shoes
to go to school
i want again the Laurie Lee of new beginnings
the stream outside a breath of life
to bring me to my senses
as the broken band begun again
wants hope and shelter
as the pretty girl who sang for us

a child of joy
decides that she will roam
so shall i let the whole'thing; go
be a picture song

to pull the wings of truth and watch it crawl
no i will saver ever tear stained little dying breath
remembering  this air we share is everywhere

so i cannot ever ever be alone
within my own illusion of identity
the harmonicas of everyone are
drifting melodies unlost
the harps of angels

tangle in the harmonies
the chords refrains and sympathies uncrossed
within view two
i'm near to you to hope again
i am the one outsider who must draw

the architecture drawings of the Ken Martin's nest of  angel man
with abstract wings in lofty shelf away
of cabinets of mapped time based museum fragment overviews of seeing/drawing monuments

of sincere gardens painted on loose canvases
now brought to life by resting strangers treating
them like sheets
a head or two is sinking in the flower bed
that some one painted accurate and neat
oh yellow iris head don't don't know i spotted them
some carefully has garden with their paint and in my past life here in little liverpool
Adrian Henri sowed some just like these
his friend george melly now can harvest them behind the veil of somewhere long ago and
the thank yous they will come with waves of music scores for left and righteous metronomic chores
the busy feet of matthew street is just a corridor of mindless drinking soldiers home from war
oh take us all to parents who are missing us
take us to a school that really cares

i am looking for a way to find my way back in
to the shared paint of the ever living news
belonging to a band that's getting good reviews and a really well read book we all can share
a man with dog and blanket stands and blindly plays and no one listen no not even himand i am with a knidly soul that's very nearly heard and with scribble film an chat i will momentarily encourage hope that we may eat our pizzas that we may dream again and share an airborne whim


is

maintained endeavour

sustained belief
prayed into hopefulness
relentless unisex multi tasking
reconciliation of opposites
sports comic
comic sports
Leonardo golden section
universal peace soldier
renaissance man
John Bishop runs
Gabi Logan does stand up
i have run a bath
i have my dvd of i'm your man
george and i to watch after our morning walk
i have used sparky's jelly with goats cheese for my seed bread sandwiches
i will shave my chin in the bath
i will take my tuner and guitar to teach the roll with matty
all of this and morning pages i am squeezing inyto twenty minute so as i want my bath then the morning pages are at marathon speed
yesterday i sent myself a postcard from lady lever using a stamp from a garedn centre
i met with ali and she and i deiscussed serendipity and she showed me a wonderful bell she has and could not unsuprisingly help ringing it
i did my morning pages style artiosts date
in steve's absence as he had been unable to meet up
i drew van gogh and gaugain and mr and mrs lever and a naked echo from the narcissus story i
will upload sometime

i am off to dee after bath walk dvd and i will work on reg and edna olympiocs pictyre so then iff to my bath which i ran whilst making said packed lunch today i will read more of the shadow of the wind and enjoy the company of amy's illustrated letter in linghams amen

Thursday, 22 March 2012

flavours layers siftings shiftings

knowing you are loved
i am using a lovely candle i bought from eden
its flavour is Persian Lime
i suppose we can now share a dream
we always could before by talking or by reading a friend's book or
by mutually being in the same space loving the same friends but now
there is an open invitation to borrow enter into the room of anothers thought
that is what this is
i suppose to the hackers it is a bit like going in and attempting to alter another's neural groove
perhaps music too does this as there is an urgency to the abstract painting on my mind that debussy is playing in my mins from the old disconnected computer behind me

so i suppose i can assume if interupted whilst trying to reneter my own morning pages another who is not quite sure waht to do may well have attempting to steo into my page to feel how it is well perhaps i may be paranoid but how was it ?
i liked it when dylan was filmes saying let them get another bob dylan see how he does

isn't it sad you carefully express the truth of what another has done only to find that they have misheaeard and even worse chosen without realising it to put a prefered negative that they are responding to into the very care you expressed to ensure they did not get hurt




so then what is all this theoretical fog getting at it is getting at the fact that in rsponse to two teachers one julia cameron i chose to identify poisonous friends who discopurage me
even though they mayt not know it

it is theri old habits that i must loose and my own by i cannot if i share company with them

perfectionism is preventing me from learning to play the iano whilst kindness and several shares of sincerity are enabling me slowly to keep getting back up to dance
and i do want to dive into the brave installed at cost piano that needed time connections risks to get into my relativeely small flat i though it significant to my creative growth stepping ut and recovery of childhood playfulness


yet my friend once a proper girlfriend has not taken my saying no very well and is now asserting how many successful students she has and how she has a new relationship and how she was offended by my saying that i am finding myself depressed after my lessons as i do not seem to feel encouraged anabled but stuck challenged beyond measure and upset


it has become my postion to assume that i have ateention defisit thingy m bob

i know sometimes that i do not hit these keys accurately imagine if i kept getting not the chord spelling wrong but the note length

i know she is supposed to tell me but there is no let up i feel like i am in the old palladium with bob dan fitz walter about to bang his little gogon saying you did say yes or no didn't you i forget it





compassion and kindness i will find the funds and pay i have seen a tutor on the net and one who undertsands various needs lets try him then with mine once i have this piano of me and the newly installed one tuned there then off my chest it goes





last night i had full colour postional dreams i had started a sort of freedom sleep walking in tht daytime yesterday the nice man allan from toast pointed out that i had either gone into deep meditaion or awas infact asleep i wandered into eden delighted to see oil paintings of stones i had made
oh by the way we are not dreaming yet this is real
so i was carrying five stones i had replaced on the beach in the morning and had lost one and as i made my way to eden i was looking for a new one and i found one outside john's doo so five in hand and not wanting to go home to sleep which had been forming aas a plan i wnet across the road to browse in eden and found lovely aromatic candles and conversed with pat about them about frederick about drawing and souhgt to rub out art and religion and bring the loveliness of the light the moment my soporific sate into the lovely shopa s it was flowing into me peacefilling me with hope river of flowers light joy

this end of banks road with rooney poytone whit bauhaus designer hair and ede and the video shop staacks and even the pizza and dress shops is the heaven god has brought about around me miraculously even providing a hardware chandlers type store of my childhood shed and interiors shpps of mums swaths too







oh this candle the debussy and yes i dreamed last night i woke with myself just froma car avery greengrocer gargener face to my right had paused in a counrty road to speak on the phone and out converstion across his listening seemed familiar not deyja vu more rel than that and my thought went to the sifting of severeal kindly partners to the dancing on monday so i feel hopeful of writing i am reaching rather than receiving here but i do seek Go'd's blessing on the 'abundance' a an alarm is going off on my pohone electricity being wasted i forgive me oh the sport relief just five pound lord let me give it someho today let me satisfy this just as gabi roselyn did with ther natural sporting stand up win last night the telly has been pouring good stuff in more intervies frosty parky and a programme about the heros of this skill interactivist incluind the vox populis o but then i do not want too much larger group flush of shaped public opinion the same courtroom jesus went thorugh that i could put a friend through if i am too severe the note you played just then  when you criticised mine well you know i will retaliate rather than learn no i will simply play something else with another and say to you this is shurtin a dn i do not want or deserve to be crucified and will not crucify you amen

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

saints alive

it is all in the flowing wondrous noticing
it is all in the bringing back to lif
the dada frgemnt jigsaw puzzle hopelessing
the collage scribbling dylan lyric jive
the riffs the raffle number puzzle wine for sale
the jazzmen passing throough the ols ship inn
the outdoor counter ticket stubs and cigaretes the
girls and boyts who struugle to survive tyhe rambling
drooling tongue tied muzzled daily lies of paper headings foolscap sheets and paper cuts
the cunning vixen feed the cubs and scouting dibs
and dobs n blobs of ink on fingers and on desks the empty stolen contents of the ancient maths the taxi cab inebriate piddle meths
oh strike a match and pee stain paint upholstery and pull your tights up for the vicar sees the through behind the saint parishioners birthday gifts and someone sings a hymn to all of these
so finally i tell the truth about my love the letting go of long and answered prayers the blame i pout on my inadequacies and sinking dremas the hurt i supressas i fall on my needs oh no its not the poverty i mostly fear northe abundant flow of everything i somehow need i kneed the dough and pushit to trap oxygen i pump balloons for partings long ago inside mys soul i slippers on seek hearth of christmas and of trees and look for presents i will never know if i find the gifyt thats hdeen then my life will end i must pretend i di d not see you there i must not draw these pictures of your momentry and jotted eyes ago in faith and cheers the tears are ink i draw with in my heart and journal style mistakes make up mjy style that i could never hide the applaud the old misatkes i make deliberatley i tell them all but if they say so will i say they hear its time to pour disaster down a belfst sink oh sucha special think for every man a space to take the clay and all its pottery though clogged old draina and childhood satins do not have me standing there naked washed by parents full of love they were poor enough once a poon a time to notice me and i was bright enough to understand that though my little willy had not flowered just then i have a hope for generations in my tine drawing hands


the birds are fresh and busy behind the warmth of the fan heater and the ghotliness of the debussy dram of track number

on the old apple mac incongruously obliviously bringing the new cd to life despit its own outdated ness no you cannot play this disc in a mp 3 nor plug a usb into the mac might as well be mac the knife heh bertie or a tinitin stule raincoat none of these things understand the holy communion of their shared sylabbles

i once wrote a song wrtoe into me


without judgement we will be set free iwonder what jesus wrote on the ground?

if i say i don't no nothing it dont mean i dont no somethings its just that i cant break it down wonder what jesus worte ont he ground


marry me someone and we can pretend for the rest of eternity that we were meant for each other because nothing else has worked so far no i could not take the subtlest of criticisms and did not trust the motivation behind it

yes you were to balem

and no i do not pretend my inccocence nor my shame

but but made us both to be aware that these flaws are his percections and not imprerfections at all

make our mistakes perfectly for they are blessing in disguise his immaculate rebirth of eternal life given never to be removed taken back or stolen surprise supplies











jimmy two giraffes


amy gave me one

and now an old student from withns lane

no she can't take that away from me who is this noteworthy rose 'och the poor wee dandelion'

dance inclusion currency

i am going our more reaching out more allowing myself in more taking part and being taken apart more like the fragment of the prayer i tore into the river of the lavoire in the loire valley where both tintin and davinci were stirred by water table adventure and the currents of the imagination and the yeyes of god's invitation there were i played harmonoca on sympathy for the devila nd swam in a swimming pool and where i was with childhood friend and filled with hope near to paris and expectant of god like the paper mache figures that dripped all night and the salt dough gentility and dubuffet doodles of giamcometi morphs of pared down silhouette three d lowrie without background white gorund any sapce postcard or not
i once wrote my postarcard and cut the siluette simetrical of me and revered the hole so a me in text stood in the scene and the scene stood in me inside the text how many panoramic degrees does that measure how many imensions does that succinctly haiky i am in the dance again i will go see jimmy on friday and i will go see kappa saturday and i will be with god everyday amen



last night the dance flowed through me to me as i gently let it in and let a lttle more of me go and it may all go did you say i sound old why did you o poor silly ears you have grandma am i huirt too     right i am hurt oh well back to work for you they love you   and i do not need to be bullied the cost of your lessons is greater than money and i cannot afford to pay it emotioanlly i am lamb and son of god love and you should be treating me as meast and most i wonder what jesus wrote on the ground beneath your feeet forgive livve begin and hope that you do not present too great an oibstacle with your brmbly hedge to my samll creature beautiful eyed love of all that is god amen in christ dance include let go forgive i am gonna do it all one day someone call the police someone gave back my heart and it is fitting rather well and i will not retaliate in unkindness nor in sem kind but with kindness amen


yesterday i intended to go into town and go to posh hotel but i found myself with my bus pass noticing that it had been one year since i had painted mersey moon on city cafe wall and it was wonderful to be incomabny with ken anded and it felt entrierelyu appropriate to be talking about going after the one sheep in the same vaein as nottinghill and also the good decisison good decision vision i was sharin g as ed showed us reminded us of the film it was good to hug mr izli and his cafe that is a current of youthful staff it was right to speak of amy in barcelona and to read her lovely letter and as i read the collage of thoughts that is the shadow of the wind book it all fell together and to have my new friend sanmdra kindly parying over my dancing as i shared both hurts n hope i felt a little wieght fall away i enjoyed mash poataoes and sausages at city cafe the debussy album that was my film score to the scribbled rooting of my thoughts has just finished and i must find my cup of tea the intenttionin town was to high light the morning pages i had printed out for th review purpose suggesed by julia cameron i will go there soon but toady i will walk and teah figure srcibble making nwith the samll family god had placed in my momentary charge help me then i gray to do it well amen

today i will copmose a letter to babs and end the hurt that i have prolonged for too long now i will put myeslf through the grade one but hope to find another tutor as i am not so vainas to beleileieve i can do this thing unenecouraged ins ome way ame and i will get the piano tuner in to fix the sound amen amen

Monday, 19 March 2012

izzy pop and sixty pop

so then before bed new chapters flowing with the rest
and the fatigue and the stretched

a collage of tracks plays from an old apple mac this morning by my friend fro college
from collage of my life i was young married and bob was two
mike who has made the c.d. for me is a lover like john peel of all music world music ?
all is world anyway last night

before bed with horlicks soporific milk

izzy was thinking my thoughts ivestigating a book her ctional grandfather was pouring out
and had in fictional print
stream of human consciousness

the book was called(here i go back into the three keyboard lounge
to read the board i wrote on student to myself and to all that flows through


THE SPECIFIC &VERY REASONABLE ART of COMPLETELY UNLIMITING YOURSELF
1st chapter "unstuckability"
you stop doing the things you have got used to doing
and reach out
step into
new possibilities
in order to unstick your friends'
perception of you
&thus empowering them

izy sat in the corner of the cafe where she had seen the drawings of her grandad flow from
on his face book page his youtube the river of shared stone soup of God's unstoppable gift river of 'each otherness'

the crime is the crime of stuckness

she was listening in her ipod to supertramp
she had made a huge intuitive leap one we should all make if we are to infer a real meaning on the real christ of all hearts that of our purpose is to unstuck people who have become stucked forget the news make the river cleaner by putting more good stuff in

time she thought for anew style detective yeah to the randomness of dirk gently but izzy pop has purpose to her little seed life

she would satisfy and help become the snwer to jesus prayer of hopefulness that is the whols of john's gospel that of all will know that they are as loved as the son of god as the son of god intented mutual toal shared repair of the unstuckness the gumption dino rod flush of forgiveness received isiah rain fulfilling its snowy silver lined purpose.


how to unthink her grandad had infered she thought oif 'good decission good decision


- "I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. My mother has trouble remembering my name."
-- "Fine, fine. Good decision. Good decision. The fame thing isn't really real, you know. And don't forget, I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."



he needed unblocking
he needed to


'unthink'

his thinks biubble he needed the unnoticed clown's hat pin to burst this follish ballon he needed cupid's arrow sent at the nod of a welsh comic's generous gentle face


unthink repent you u turn the opposite of that sad deluded mrs thatcher who we must all forgive and forget the iron mask features





what to unthink today and what to seek to get down before the idea drips from you synapesesssss?




so then today i am wanting hungry for piano before i go on my artist date folowed by my dance date with the cheeriest soul i have met in a long time amen

so i will go and refix with its velcro n staple the whiteboard for izzy pop to the bcak of the bedroom door that has its front really in the lounge and i will wipe these notes that were just grace notes as i listen for waht to catch from the rain that falls on the surface of my mind like mann that must be used to satisfy the hunger i have and with immediacy and yet patience trust and openess amen

love the man's hat i will where mine washing machine reformed hat and am quite tempted to wash the new black one to form it into the sahpe of mr bib's cool hehe?


so piano and julia cameron amen today then dance

Sunday, 18 March 2012

planks for the memories

in church i rememebered at the lavoire in loire valley i found a place to rip mu written prayer into the river
on screen projected in church a deer panting for the water in the lavoire the next day deer footprints
in the church the invitation to plant and water some seeds then last night caroline's card had seeds to plant in the papewr for me to rip up her card and thus plants the seeds in me once i had radiocative seeds to burn out a cancer in the altar brian had placed planks leading into the sanctuary of the rip veil croos and out again the day before my birthday ihad commenced planks for the memories with lots of little crosses and me walking th plank do not ever imagine that there is no god it is abit like doudting your own breath there is as my friend doctor franck pointed out nothing but god he sold the filed and he left the ninety nine to find and plant that very breath thought seed in the companionship bread of your very being ame

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Time and money and effort reaching out and risks

Sue at dee Fine Arts has been so kind that I can only pray that her
risks on framing lot of work and in hosting a birthday for me and
giving space to a dream that has lasted 60 years will bring fruit to the
tree and the orchard of other souls that her gallery her Blue Moon Gallery
waters.That like psalm one God will nourish refresh and bring to a wonderful
 Eden for others to enjpy watering with hope and provision.May the wine
 that God has lavished through all my friends so alive to it all
will as it has poured on me pour to all who gave so much kindness last night.

My prayer for my good friends Jimmy Simon and Caroline and
myself is for the tune that God wants us to hear divide into
 four part harmony with four part lyrics and somehow delight the mind first of God
and then Jimmy Rae as he hears with amazement just what Jabez did as god
blessed him with 'more'.I was so glad to see feel and watch as the stream that longs to flow
from God's altar in Somon started to have the damned removed
so he could take the canoe over the wall of the levi
and I want to see Jimmy when his voice heart and mind discover the wonder of his own sharing
pouring through him as he watched remembering something fabulous pouring into the psace he had given away to caroline who indeed is listening and getting down what is coming to her seemingly seemless and effort less as she accepts the current blessing of wanting like jimmy to include more in her current

we both like karine polwart but caroline is very generous hearted towards her


my favourite song by karine is

i'm gonna do it all some day


i agree but she is more likely to do so if she stops pretending to be the author and like my friends last night realises that her neighbours and god are the stream to give the all both purpose fruition and wonderment
the blossomness of the blossoms


oh God keep my dance safe in little sandra and keep her safe to dance for she is so lovely amen

 i just got from my pocket my brand new watch and i will use no other now
Rob and Amy had this fabolous watch engraved

we don't stop playing as we grow old but we do grow old if we stop playing oh my wise wonderful children amen

Thursday, 15 March 2012

the zen of seeing

i did not wake up with a stream of thoughts today
i made a card
well printed a selected image out for Lynne
whose birthday it is tomorrow and was nearly today
on the response to the video about eduction on facebook
she and george had watched there was mention
 that her choice of birth was nearly today

i think i confused my friend simon with the  wording of my pain on facebook
too he was ever so kind as to reassure me that his
 encouragement is sincere and it is and i am so grateful for
his and others kindness and i know it is meant and ..........

you see it is just that i seek change more than i seek me
and what i have been able to do is wonderful and so no i have not been 'flattered but appreciated for something that is second nature to draw in a loose and sometime precise thread
yet how i long to dive into the piano pool and start to draw in the melody and wade and splash in the colour chords leaving no trace except the shared joy of my own astonishment
it is the only shared art other than say a garden allotment or building thought the builders are so rarely seen as authors now as the one who did the drawings gets the crdit a bit like applauding the conductor oh to be in the orchestra pit playing a passgae that flows into the see of others plaful joy one day one day one day oh




the car was from a loosely made watercolour paperfoldy sort of birthday present to myself a few years ago
i have no need most of the time for precision as my samll life is in an ocean of immortality that satrted before my birth and goes on always immeasurabley except by the vast author beyond mind or measure




it was of a girl at window with watering can watering  window box
i had put on it littel flower happy birthday and it echoed the cheerfulness i would seek to broadcast and to Lynne i made mention of Elaine Hughes exhibition in staacks as it is the most cheerful show i have ever seen



so fan heater on
goldfish fed
slightly itchy nose as if i have been dusting but seel the end of a cold

i look to my left and i have placed the zen of seeing there oh frederick would that you were alive and well and then in heaven you may well be i can only pray and do lord gOD IN HUGE Gratitude

the book is spontaneous beautifully adudibly should that be legibly so what!
hand written audible to any heart with eyes and what is the point of a blind heartt?

none?


oh

i was low and am still climbing out i will be hopeful and i shall play

i pray for the gift yet do not want it like some magic spell though perhaps belieif is magic it is certainly in God's givendescription the only spell   belief

belief is the only encouragement any life coaching has in its bag to share and i can only pray for goody bags to give away


shall i write beleief on lots of pieces of paper and get some bags to put it in and give them out for my birthday sorely temptd


i would need to write it lots of times and fill each bag with 60 slips of beleief mad art happening would i simply need to share the idea

it is thrursday and whilst i am going for my friday walk today with george
i am also due to do my weekly morning pages check in and my artists date that i do each week so what to achieve today
well i have a hygeinist appointment and i am aware that i have not invited everyone via facebook to my birthday

as not everyone is as yet on this friendliest of postal services that ever existed never was ther a more inclusive christian tool for samaritan style neighbourliness than this why you can hear a neighbours p[assing though on the right of the screen as you listen and type your own global village marshall mcluhan prophesised whne global mind gets ever nerer global classsrom shop playgourns work area not alone

i will make chai tea and have porridge

that is waht i will do

checking in mwith my morning pages questionaire then
as my daily alarm goes off



i have sustained morning pages each day
sometimes i simply poured out sorrow
and becauuse i share my illegible screed i get compassionate and kindly responses through facbook

worka holism sabotageing the artist dat not sure possobly definitely wanted to complete my work for the current to flow to anable other things i suppose

synchronicity yes simon was perfectly timed to infuse some cheer when i broke my heart/mind on the rocks of musical disappointment with my lesson not being up to scratch unable to do simple things iether i worry too much or not nenough check mated by seeming cruel judgements that i could not in any way find any encouragement in at all


issues significant for recovery only down arrows it felt like the devil will blow out any attempt at lighting a flame of graitude joy encouragemtnendeavour keep on keeping on hopefulness i have been living that psalm that asks why and then concludes i will beleieve




i am in god's hands and any kind neighbours and within me is an unstoppable seed of fith that will find sunlight will be watered will seek to encourage and will walk sing hope dance even if feebly

if a thing it worth doiun g is worth atattemptin over and obver aeven if it means falling over and no even if i am not encouraged i will find courage and spit in the devil's face as i find it their in the hurt that attempts to say god will not enable your hopes to be watered and sustained because that is what who why god is to be creative to create the miracle that unfold sthe hope i will exemplify for and because of the goodness i have at times recieved.