Thursday, 20 December 2012

thoughts of searle

So then to make a commitment and revise some goals and hopes and sustainings.
first i will look to the word of God I opened the Gideon's bible and chose to paddle in via Mathew after the genealogy to the virgin birth and Joseph's initial thoughts of divorce and browsed gently the magi.then my eyes alighted upon Alan Mackie's Book of Hope pages i had removed to bring with me.They are from a book by Billy Graham he had been given as a gift.he had these placed; this book and other's, on the table at church when downsizing to move into the flat.

psalm 45.6 is quoted
a scepter of righteousness
of your kingdom

The King of Kings
from birth he was recognised
Herod realized there was not room for 2 thrones
is enemies :

'no one ever spoke like this man!'( john7.46)
'my Lord and my God!' says 'doubting ' Thomas

and then i turn to today and the word
'catch the little foxes that spoil the vine'

perfection is no trifle says Michelangelo
when his friend could see no change in the marble after hours away
he pointed to the little nuances of muscle tone and softenings

We are asked how many marriages broke down because we failed
to attend to the little things that spoil the grapes...athletes lost competitions
through similar lack of muscle tone

the big picture yes
the bringing into focus also though

only when i am faithful in the small things will God bless me with the greater things
little foxes like resentments,habits,dishonesty...Nip them in the bud!'think better thoughts
do better actions,rehearse better ways deal with them and watch life change.amen

Prayers then for a gratitude of heart an entrusting to God a letting go and a believing

lord i pray over the geek squad and insurance money as the shp says see the bank and the bank say see the shop and three friends say its too much and yet it spoils my joy and so i pray that it would not and that whilst proactive my purpose is to find quality expression not perfect control but your blessing for you say' my burden is light'...

goals whilst here to spend time with my mentors Doctor Franck,Julia Cameron,Ronald Searle John Mayall
a writer and artist who saw and drew a writer and film maker who morning pages and artist's dates.a man who made compositions of highlighted memories to cook with the ingredient's oof his eyes and location to cook a npancake of representative flavours sweetened and seasoned by his own intentional humour and joy and a blues musician who turned diary entries into short vignettes of life drama with positive attitude and psalmist honesty

downstairs the pisture rail and upper panel of the room are painted white and the paint spills into a neat yet sumbled edge in readiness for the next layer of colour to wave from floor to picture rail.Whilst chandeliers have the candellabra feel they are more modern small lamps but appropriate to the room

The usual bowls of various creals and hot milk coffee sachets etc with jugs of juice.
Polite waiters work to script and tea is served and so is toast and a few varities of boiled and fired breakfasts. A couple of large bottomed ladies add the the levels in the room as they float like boats on a dado rail sea level to get their cereals.three hairstyles one nervous English fringe like a large eye brow hangd tufty spring like over the points at the top outside corners of her spectacle she is shy unable to hide and almost curtsey's to the door to get through unnoticed.the american lady hasn't got the surrrealistic paisley that searl might have given her,but the pattern more subdued is a small sea that fails to hide the stern of the bid black bum bum.a more tempered three layers of englishness has bacl slacks with a little pink of calf beneathe a shirt/dress of open black housecoat and black tee shirt with two rows of perals with no sag though her neck is not fat her hair is coloured red and is that simple silk pair of cuves cut at the in facing wave to hold he head onto her neck like a ball  joint...the american ladya ll one bowl of mousy invisibility.

the streets that took me to my trafalgar are a diagon alley taking me diagonally to my acute reflex past the right shoulder of penn club bright cheery face the windows are creatively christmas one has  6 or so over two windows american post boxes on posts with their fronts open on a couple into fun crhsitmas world or are one together with birds and the pub fronts are like ornate carvings painted a hundred times so as to become rooted and gnarle in their rich forst of ornateness drawing people into an imaginary world of ale n merriment and bawdy wneches ---or that is what the whisper in my eyes seek if i were honest brave and could imgine finding a sincere bride in there somewhere but no empty as an unused church is this hope except i have faith that somewhere in this eccelisates emptiness god awaits me to speak to his little boy and make a happy little artist of him one day the day the blessed holy day amen

that may be the whole of what i am able to say woke up tired and long to find a way in to the drawings i desire to see arise form simply being here with my heart and my god and dostoyevsky.\back to the traflage square dream world then ....\mrylebone station is needed on sunday how to get there?

Saturday, 17 November 2012

within a God altered moment everything will change

prompted by an opportunity
i sometimes find myself
in exactly the right place
at an unpremeditated time
e.g. calling at john gorman's cottege
and hearing sue bordman
say yes but you need quiet time
and finding john had wood and idea and money
imminently ready for a project he mentioned in summer
i had called on route to draw hoylake
and after dropping of illustration work
at what felt like an appointed time
something similar happened when i visited
Robin and  hsis wife when they were just about to move.


to listen out sense the touch of
God in a change of momentary direction
to have interruptible thoughts.

not knowing
possibility moments with Love life and blessing

i look a bit like alan whicker
and it is because of a spontanaeous yes to
 change when selecting my glasses and also responding
to stephen vicary's movember moustache idea

instead of biting the apple of cleverness
enjoy the seeds of change at the core of God's loving provision instead
you do not know where you are but He does!

Monday, 22 October 2012

people need to be maintained told they are loved-do it!

okay here goes
i've got more than a feeling
and it comes with good reason
we feel better to suspend disbelief
we do it so kindly
almost complete 'other' mind-ly
when a film on the telly it shows

as story we enter
and slip on the character mentally of the person
before us
we step into the story
not ours
yet for a couple of hours we 'believe
and we are relieved when
as if the whole world had read the secret
and knew it all turns out right because we knew it would

yet despite all the background characters in our own story lines
our own real life lines
no not the hocus pocus distractions of the
palm readers but the real living eye contact
carers reflectors of the souls travelling through our lives with us

there's an interesting interruption
unplanned 'palm' as in palm tree is the same spelling as 'palm'
as in palm leaf
i read a palm house recently
i it read
large irrigated green house in a park
it was romantic
not because it was to do with a romantic kisses and cuddles assignation

as·sig·na·tion  (sg-nshn)
1. The act of assigning.
2. Something assigned, especially an allotment.
3. An appointment for a meeting between lovers; a tryst.  engagement.

No romantic because i wanted to draw it and had received a commission to paint it 
for a young wife who wanted to give it as a gift to her husband as it was the place they had wed.

And because it was the location the previous week for my friend  Ed
to commemorate his mother's life with his family.

So then two people separate story lines had come together.

If \I were a film maker
i could would might yet use the setting to
act as the theatre 
the 'o'.

And it would facilitate the suspension of other's disbelief because they would have stepped into an
unusual yet understandable legible  analogy.

Some one some group is able to erect at great expense a small cage for home for
creatures that seem inanimate yet have biblical association and whose leaves are named after our hands
and those hands are associated with our own 'family trees' or at least our projected and imagined
toyed with futures  when placed in another's interpretations.

so then the suspending of disbelief 
please notice that is a double negative 
suspend ( don't do wait)
dis( don't or undo )

so then this 'leaf ' this be - lief

be leaf
 believe = suspend disbelief
viz don't not believe

allow yourself to be 'palmed- off ' with this story before you

so then there i was with my friend john ,who deserved a run out with his newspaper
and keeping me reassured in my isolation as an artistic warrior into the unkown
fellow Christian spaceman

drawing the web of glass
and remembering the other palm house the isla gladstone where at the beginning of the year God had watered dreams of a brand new life of dancing

aah well

and at the concservatory style dance room at hugh fearnlae whittinstall's place too
all quality asscociative film making stuff some mutual transparent tardissss

plural of Tardus perhap Tardi
I digress which is probably a welsh man whose slighlty angry di the aggressive

oh losing it if not already lost among the plants

so we started out flowing on the tender thought i had about the way we suspend disbelief when we step into a film yet are unable to believe when we come to our own lives having an author director origianter and making of the settings for our own story lines but willing to place or palms to be read by a part time tea leaf brewer of imaginary futures and there 'dry readings of who we are and where we are going and able to make reasonable guesstimates about where we ahave been.Well don't e know 
who do you think you are well clearly a dinosuar why not? Just look at us

When the next day i was drawing at the zoo i noticed it is collection of palm houses yet retirement homes for animals resued from the cruelty of ivory ctahers and rare meat gobblers having robbed alll there forests it only seemed right to produce thes vast palm house to let them have their own new year jive!

Friday, 19 October 2012

you are loved

Jesus parables are the opposite of Catch 22
they include you whether you decide you are in or you are out
If you are part of the ninety nine then you have a proactive inclusion
vineyard workers sheep and sulky brothers you are beloved of God

but the real celebration and usefulness and fulfilment of this forgiving loving dad/mum
is in the restoring those we have hurt-the ones like Joseph who we pushed out of the comfort zone
of God's love

or so we thought we pushed then into the kingdom and pushed ourselves out

our conditional love saying we believe is a hypocrite's mask

for our love should be much greater because we have found fellowship
fellowship with arrogant superior attitudes is not the fellowship God shared with us
So the ninety nine are spoken to as 'sulky brothers' fellow vine workers
who do not like the amazing grace shown by the value of a widow's mite nor the full pay given to the late arrival

nor the words relating to the joy of heaven when one sinner repents,But if you are anything like me you will use this offer of forgiveness even grab it like the prodigal from the father's hand when you realize it is you that instead of being found have been lost in selfishness all the while .Amen to God's offer of a heart of flesh and here we go again.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

a spark in the dark-'remaining current'

the dialogue twixt heaven and man
to remain current is the reason two uploading programmes have just interrupted me on way to share this insight
one Webrooter
to keep me fresh with antivirus software
the other Java
to ensure my dialogue with other services is translating/enabling (for/with) me

currency is meant to flow
air through lungs
oxygen trough blood
blood through body
breathing refreshing cleansing lymph system

insight through morning awakening insights
the pages of you written by God's continuous love.

remaining current is how much battery in the netbook when unplugged from supply

we need to be relevant
a church
or a business
say a shop needs to be an open system
facebook is good to go for God here
for it is the open lymph system of human thought
and requires no qualifications just a little
 gentle paddle and then sharing  splashes
No we are not ourselves the water though we are part of the flow
No the church is not Jesus
yet part of the flow and blessing
with Samaritan lady at the 'well' the Samaritan lady
in the parable of shared heart/mind opening koan of insight
what you do or do not do for the least of one of these

now tell me whose faith is so rock solid that they
do not need the refreshed and refreshing
 water of the renewed films by Alpha

the vineyard workers who want to quibble about the
 fresh workers will not want to find someone to bring
to the water yet that is how Jesus thirst was satisfied

'I' have food you know nothing about as He
 had just satisfied it by giving water that lasts
forever to the Lady caught in adultery by him at the well

She brought all the 'Facebook' tributeries back to the well of the Jews
in one felll swoop thus satisfying His and His Father's thirst to express and share unconditional water
as in Isaiah 55 written for sharing on Facebook you face my face his face her face this face long before the face was formed in the psalm 139 of the womb
Current needs holidays Holy days not saints other than all saints all people's days
oh for jubilee when the queen like a commoner gets to share our day with her for without the world of good will there is no current of joy and waving palms for the saviour nor the monarch to feel the breeze with

i did not come here as an 'heartist' to capture the world
I amhere to be captivated and shared amongst you 'currency'
as my Father said is meant to flow amen

and the trees of the murals of God will clap their hands amen
the trees of the father's irrigated seeds will bring the love in this barren wilderness
and oh the LOve of being current of

thanking those who were your teachers and still are
of if a thing is worth doing it IS check it out
worth doing badly
effort enough ness
for the first time
always is the first time
let us in someone wants to bring me

My Father and Jesus want to bring me

just call me 'zippy'.

Friday, 12 October 2012

the word in me and me in the word

I woke thinking if only someone would pull the thorn from my stone heart it might again be warm and loving and true flesh

it is the sword in the stone

i read the once and future king by t.h.white about young arthur and the words flowed into me through me

and i swam like i used to off the coast of st ives
when not on holiday with a smaller body then I would run a deep warm bath and pretend and swim in the bath tub under the warm safe homely water.

the story swam in me

to some the book of love is long and baring to me the word of God is becoming the fresh spring water i drink read psalm one and enjoy the freshness and it is the ocean warm and grit in my toes it is alive and i am alive in it read isaiah 55

Monday, 24 September 2012

Yes to LIFE!

Let's call it life.Let's not cheapen it with'art' and 'science'.
Let's not bother with 'religiousness'.Let's breathe!
it's the blood, breath and river water of our very BEING.
It IS deep ,exciting,tear-jerking:both serious and PLAY-full.

Let's be more ALIVE to it's immensity and DELIGHT
that we are so very very small  and  the WondeR of it's endlessly

Let us learn to SPLASH!

in it
that we thrill as children

our feet take off
and we really REALLY 'fly'
oh yes''''''''''''ALIVE!'''''''''''''
to GOD's gold.

and make our mother's weep with pride
and hear them say there you are and knew you'd make it well done my love well done now come here to LOVE         ! and make y'OUr'dad happy


Saturday, 22 September 2012

Hopefulness and gratitude are clearly important issues requiring Grace

Without faith in the idea of some gifting  some receipt of kindness
then it is not possible for another to say to you
you are gifted

On the other hand
the idea that your gift is ltd is questionable
as life offer a profusion of senses and stimuli that we can

'take for granted'

what does that mean again without someone granting it giving it allowing it then

another one of those equations that ends in the decision to times by nought

i.e.    granted   or gifted  X 0= 0

the decision like the tired thought I had last night on facebook
 when in my tiredness and my feeling of loneliness
I decided with this tired mind that

'my me is broken'

well yes that is a feeling but hardly a complete picture when I do believe in Grace
I do believe i am gifted and
I do believe in a whole range of possibilities and no I am not ltd but some false man made perspective of a limiting realism when the mapped yet expanding known universe belies such a notion of limiting it to known 'probabilities' I feel whether you are scientific or faithfilled with hope and gratitude major propelling 'Gifts' in themselves that there is much to discover unvover and give birth to.I woke up and I did whilst slowly emerging from my weary bed I WOKE UP it may not be a major epiphany nor a EUREKA moment yet

I am ambition about a book I will write with nice loose penline words just two

Hope and Gratitude

and it will be based on 2012 yet only as fuel fro to date the words is to say the fuel is used up and clearly it isn't the build up of kinetic energy and dreams of this year alone is massive 'seed no bigger than a mustard seed is a scientific example of a parable' something professor Dawkins  a.very intelligent man endorses.He sees a great usefulness to parables and say amen to science and r'religion' working alongside each other for the benefit of mankind.My friend Doctor Frederick Franck spoke of the aspiration to 'become Human' and the most human of my reckoning is the man and spirit of Jesus,whose self sacrifice will and is healing the minds of those who will transcend religiousness on behalf of action and faithfilled responsibility to us turning around limiting 'worry with a relook at flowers and the birds'And say to the powerful look you are not arrayed like one of these they are better examples of peace in your deep massive genes development than your current destructive misue of science currently suggests.

So the fuel of GRATITUDE then as I look to the current year

1. My grand daughter Isobel Poppy is one year old and starting the adventure of the second year with recent visual memories of travelling in a wheel barrow full of flowers through Lyme Regis summer fresh air and happiness and stories read to her back to the bride and groom .As they had been given as gifts to her and to us all from the mutual caring to share of Robert (my son ) and Susie(my new daughter-to hell with the 'in law' bit!- (I care more than that wording)).The stories and references included such wonders as Edward Monkton  ,magnetic pulls,and re snoring terry Pratchett a wake up set of stories rather than a bedtime series.

2.The Paraolympians hallelujahhallelujahhallelujah wowsers if ever faith and science through life coaching and engineering showed and proved a spiritual dimension transcending limiting religion or po faced equations of abstract self indulgence and purposelessness  YOU ALL DID and God the world is truly grateful and therefor GRACE fILLED and GRACE -FUELLED!.

3.The OLmYPICS  the mutual fuel of a world in concert despite a shattered economy on a global scel we all proved their is fuel true CURRENCY which has meaning as that of the Isaiah 55 poetry

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
    and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
    and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
    listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
    my faithful love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
    a ruler and commander of the peoples.
Surely you will summon nations you know not,
    and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel,
    for he has endowed you with splendor.”
Seek the Lord while he may be found;
    call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
    and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
    for an everlasting sign,
    that will endure forever.”

3.The Giant Girl Titanic celebrations commiseration in Liverpool with so many peole willing to be the fuel for these giant puppets wowsers 
I was in my element having created a puppets and proverbs assignment at Southport that they exemplified to my hearts very spiritual aspirational CORE Ceour COOOOOrrrrrrRRRR!

4My son's wedding
5.My 60th Birthday

I could say a lot more  but I do not want to burn up all the fuel at once!

6.I have work coming in that I enjoy and I want to build up any broken me there is and i want to coordinate the rebuilding ofcommunitees through these doodles that I do the BUGZ for LE BIZ by LE JIMthe artist and the wallls of the URC at UPTON ON CHESTER which is the challenge and needs to be the triumph and culmination of a greater many skills and fondnesses amen.I love Chester and the Zoo and communitees .I wrote articles for Cheshire life and long to absorb the village and infer all its aroma of sweet humanity and God's planting amen.So then boots on and bowl of porridge then.A walk around the lake.Then 77 bus to Heswall and work on the Hoylake,Hilbre and Red rocks beech images for this community I am so blessed by .My children played here on the beach and froma traffic island I once wrote a love letter that CHeshire Life published oh that they would once again realise they are missing a trick not asking me to do so for them with pay! Their loss!

Thursday, 20 September 2012

and there's more

I have walked a long way around today forest beach road etc.
was so glad to find when I got to Meols that the tide was not so
 far in as to cause me to paddle.i haven't drawn todaay but I have created a lot of research material as well as collecting bits n pieces for this excercise based 'morning pages' I have some conkers and there wombs and i had a lovelu sea holly flower which was much
admired at seagrass studios as I phtogrpahed the portraait house and the station i found some old photos of west kirby in a charity shop and so i have stimulated my hope and dreams and restocked the pond today.

so this first day of izzy new year sees a busy grandad.tonight i will go to the light for jimmy nd th charity gig

i saw a book sitting on the desktop i bought in nottingham in a design place along with a moomin book and it haas a lovely cover and say 'my first novel'and reminds me of my intetnion to write children's books the reason for this net booka dn this underused blog site.Still persistence and gentle endeavours.In the background is the plaintive voice of the lead singer of elbow wonder what his name is?never heard this rtack before it has melancholic cello or violin.i just had two pieces of white toast and my favourite chai latte.
So then the idea behind morning pages is to squeeze my lemoneness for all its juice so i can find my inner flemonade.i can do this by reaching for things to say..I purchased two delicious figs and ate them whole for 48 p.I like it here in Toast young owner and lots of light like a mini southport to saving me going so farr.

John  \Hutchinson ahas emailed to say he has finished with the whale book and dave lewis is making an ebook from it.

my plan for this evening is three fold have a meal in Dee go to st.bridgets and phtot th hogbackstone and then go to the lightt .will call on john to pick up the wale book.i think th young owner her is called dave but am not sure.fondest memory here is playing harmonica with jimmy rae when we were joinde by wrechless elbow harmonica and violin playing th melody togetyher e=was fab to my ears ace.

A lady is chatting to her older friend and i have been surprised to look up twice and realise she is a mature womean as the things she says and the high giggly voice sound like someone about 12-not meant as a criticism just the reality of sound disagreeing with vision.

The day looked like rain afew times so \i am prompted to feel gratefula t the harvest of images.yes i prefer to draw from life especially loosely with a stick but nevermind i am finding i can elscticate the stiff little boxed in edges of the buildings in a front of me two older ladies discuss newspapers for there stars and their admittance of stale news..An update keeps starting up on screen wehn \i am not looking.

so hthen olde quality habits are reappearing in my life

being out in a cafe writing and morning pages of julia cameron
goal setting of life coaching
letter wrting
the main two i want to see my self do are

wtriting course
piano lessons and practice
song writing too.

Oh well i want to go get the book for Jhn and head to church then back to dee hotel for a meal so off I go that it for today -well for now anyway.

Summoning up resolve.

It is Isobel's first birthday and I would that I had posted -snail mail something  a few days ago.I have a picture being framed and have painted an image of the wheel barrow full of flowers,that will make a lovely card so first thing print it and post it.My walk for I have decided to eat porridge,brush my teeth,go for a walk and play Elbow through c.d player.My walk has an itinerary.So post card,go up the hill and through the land near Ben's mum n dad's house,take camera and paper and come donw aroun lake to photgraph first the lake people styl image then the beach scen view of Hoylake and walk therefore along front then beach to Houlake roundabout to draw the third mug shot of portrait house and Hoylake station.this is for research for the three images I want to work on for le Bizz whislt in Dee Frdiay Saturday and Monday.Friday evening is two exhibitions Dee and Wirral Society.i.e to take in Ian's work and then my own framed and the fresh work of others at the show.Tonight I also recall to go to the Light Cinema at New Brighton for Autisitic Society music charity gig of Jimmy Rae.Back to today then I want to carry on these morning pages at Toast and do not want the walk computer work etc to take me beoyong say 2.30 as I like to relax and be in the soaf window with draw journal and netbook.I amy eat in Dee Hotel this evening.On Monday evening is Matty's guitar lesson and will keep him in mind .I have an idea to go to URC Chester on Sunday and am jsut this minute thinking of inviting John..

So then my goals for today with prayer

1.Print Izzy card
2.Post it
3.Continue to walk:hill then Caldy forest
                                  Water front photo Lake People
                                                        Hoylake Portrait and station as one
                       walk back along Meole drive or via back footpath
                                     perhaps phtograph golf course

4.Go straight back out to  Toast and carry on praying with morning pages and netbook
take what is so amazing about grace morning pages and yes the long earth book.Eat in Dee Hotel then
Buys some fruit from Colin Lunts.

5 Go to New Brighton with an open mind -harmonicas? drawing book.
Quite a lot that

6.Pre Dee tomorrow print our and prepare paper and materials to do images from.
Take car tomorrow via George as 2nd walk with him hopefully with a little Dylan moment on dvd [player

Monday, 17 September 2012

2012 Our Jubilee year amen

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I haven't done mu morning pages in a while perhaps I will plug in the net book and go somewhere to day Toast say.Hopefully you have been sharing all the joy of jubilee and olupics and my son'e marriage the murals at Brookdale ,URC West Kirby,and St Savior's and my fab 6th birthday party at Dee Fine Arts and my preparation for the new mural at Upton on Chester.I am so thankful to God for Izzy Pop my son'e family his repair to all the hurts in my life and my hope of learning piano slowly with all the help Rosie Noteworthy,Simon Wallis and Jimmy Rae have given me and all the books i slowly reach into and seek to explore and assimilate.Please pray for me as I pray for you Isaiah 55 is the blessing I offfer you do spend time being pruned at John 15 speaks of Jesus the gardener and we as being in the vine i.e DIVINE de-vine accident or not a lovely thing just as Grace means a gift from God .There is no secular language it is all God's even the synapses we snap our willful self expression with .Be included in the love that pour through the air in your long the blood in your veins and the music in the language of our shared concert of thinks bubbles they are like champagne to be savoured but only till our thirst is quenched then it is time to share in the picking of the grapes and the treading not of wrath but of patience and faith.

jenny mentioned that people were curios about the guy who painted the Elm Howe room at Church so I ordered the new business card to help them find me.But they should also rememeber i am the product of lots of people who still are my teachers thought they may seem to have departed this earth.And ultimately the vast stream of undefinable being beyon d measure or science as we are so very small.I am a few note in a bigger saxophone of God's gentle powerful awful awe inspiring breath.To me Jan Gabarek and Miles Davies' Almost Blue are soem speaking in tongues to the embrochure of holy grace  I can only pray I point to God .The vastness of his unconditional love.Found myslef in tears adding to scripture John Broughall shared when I thougth of Jeus saying Mother this is your son, brother this is your mother as he breathed his last 'mortal' breath.A seed has to die .You will find this in Donovan's A gift from a lower to a Garden and in Nick Drake's fruit tree and in Dylan's Last Thought on Woody Guthrie ,but ultimately you will find it for and in and because of your own life. Amen

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

reaching into myself to bring something out fit for some purpose.

Morning pages on the blogsite has not happened for sometime.i have been either writing and drawing them in notebooks at various locations chester liverpool or train journeys or I have been walking them with the dialogue drifting out to wales or the clouds above,or I have been rooting them out as songs or i have been reaching for them in the piano books children's book and indeed the solutions to client's briefs.

preachy.There's the rub the need is it to share or to add something to find a soap box of some fruit to pass down from my rooting my leafins my riggling growing urgent to be sapling branches understandings .

alon or in company .why blog why morning page  pray/ what for to do

well here then would be the affirmatrive spin oportunity me knowing you listening of more pretentioulsy even if sincerely my discerning for myself given holy insight to your lacjk of it =no

i am fully well perhaps not completely but approximately and yes truly reverently

God has given you a word amind a sou a pupose and that all thoughts are silent if unshared

oh yes the personal relationship of your individaul self with God's bigness that let us remind oursleves myself

is that he /she /beyond gender has given any voice collectively to us to individaully and collectively dialogue with so vying for position through tetchy silence or patronising stage selfishness is all the same to God

thought  greter than ours

had a starnge wish for a fully charged camera amcorder type last night as when i stopped on the lake i looked around at a cinematic bowl of thrilling sky that was lighter above the lake whilst dark reverent worshipful dramatic and strong powerfully shaped black inky and brooding greys and yet blue blue clouds sworled around above tucked like a badly made bed around the cosiness of the lake that had one single sailor

cyclists and runners are out a lot more and what is great the newspapers have fortnight's good news but the grumblers don't know what to do they cannot understand so much thrilling aspiration they can of course point out to you all the losers that is afterall one strategy but let us not -too preachy of me

the opposite would be for me to give up my olypoic christian spirit to belong to the wet blanket of glumbiling no  please must you please don't gollum leave us to get rid of this ring and aspire to the freshly beesmmer cauldron of the five sky born firy rings

i do not want to fall into the ring of fire of johnny cash reverent and preachy from the self abuse victim fire walking sky walking cosmic point of view but instead to find fellow runners stumlers attempters and sustain with them some kind of aspiration

no it has not been wrong to leave the isaloation of the still small voice of net book gift from my beloved son and i am not giving up the goal of writing childrens books but the child i am writing for need his dad i need god but not to scribe sermons but to musically scribble doodle a happier more oly,moian joy ful love of jesys brother to the same loving dad.. my own brother david is doing ok he has a girl friend and he has a good attiude and he has retained employment

the rules of morning pages are they keep writing beyond what you imagined you comfortably had to say like the piano i plough forawrad into terrritory i do not yet know in the hope of being open to growth and to changes and to 'success' going for gold for stamina for life that apsiring flame of shared unity and celebration and good news yes some day we say we shall know something greater than the ol=ypics -i know in my heart that what doctor franck pointed to in leaves old faces and in pacem in terris simple structures for the river bed pointed to something here and now and i beleive it to be the sacred holy presence of christ of god within god's creation not to worship creation but to see God through it like to look through the miracle of a pair of eyes to smell through the iracle of a simpkle nose to taste the many flavour touch the many unfoldings to even shape and form and reflect upon swim through hat ever artistic aesthetic scientific psychologic logic babbble or verse harmony or discord be be be beloved amen preach preach preach preach and also not so not so not at all at all atlaa

Monday, 25 June 2012

i want to fall into the well of God

the be made well of God
the let go and be with of love
the endless restorative never ending sufficiency of love' provision
the cleansing repairing bath of being God's
the mother father brother sister parent child child parent love of God from God to God in God in Love love within of Loving God the sensible sensuous reality of God the flavours taste visions breath and hOLINESS OF THE BOOK OF BEING gOD'S THE AUTHORITY AUTHOR TO CHARACTER RELEVENCE OF BEING PART OF FRAGMENT WORD SENTENCE FABRIC PAPER PAGED REMNANT GARMENT OF gOD oh

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

A prayer

Loving Father God, Dear Lord Jesus,.Holy Spirit Counsellor and friend 
what should I do?I have the memory of a joy of childhood when I was dearly loved for my playfulness.
A rude awakening that has been sustained,

A contrasting pairs of paired words occurred whilst the software rooted through the computer to find no viruses .Thank you.

The pairs of pairs was 
superior cleverness 
and Childlike innocence

I hold in my heart one mentor
and a kindly friend
Dr frederick franck
and the warm thoughts of Claske
.What a fantastic title for a book that she might write
you sent these angels of life and reality into my life and they showed me it is at least posible to realize a dream ivs a vis to gain and income and support for something you believe in that of creating a necessary space in the proceedings.Allowing wonder to flourish and I feel it was they who taught my mind to share this hope with Ali when she sought out the church amen

I pray for a blessing on her building and on the wedding
i am doing my morning pages as also is Caroline England 

In my childhood and I feel still now the ones who make sense are the kind and the innocent
i may yet approach the sisters of jesus way 
i yes now have associated with them and i fear with ali too a slight disappointment 
how to meet my true appointment for it is not with a supermarket that my heart longs to serve but with music and painting and making and playing 
i fear the emperors new clothes of art annd yet i long to play and for play to find its safe space amongst the children of \god that is all the children of whatever age 
it is not in the script that we follow that i offer as a recipe to the moore children but in their gentle and significant predelictions and similarites

how can this be joyful playful and prayer ful and hopeful and true amen
i think of our work today with caroline and my hearts desire to gain n income from new possibilities

oh i know i am being used but i gowillingly to play with a creative friend and to know and be known by her and her partner i prya fro jimmy rae who plays so well i want to open them up to the gifted playful differentness of bob dylan who would appear to offer thte most expansive model to this world of words of music images journeying storyftelling and ideas and expresion of encouraging joy fulness

George called me pathfinder and i am happy always to concede to a change of direction and an additional intentionality but wuld ask at all time for that openenss to the holy life giving spirit of god

my brother measn no harm and neither do i i hope i am not so proud as to not 'take a job' but i feel in my seeming liberty to be hoping that like claske and frederick that i am the job that my gift from you of openenss and focus on the dream will yield the harvest of my faith i have started to wobble with thougth of cvs and of work and i am encouraged by george to hope that perhaps there wil be somewhere for me in all this and ebven there i have a samll ness oh for that university of possibilities and specialisms for a purpose built job that seems more like a picture of what it is that i am able to do to poitn to the shared stone soup without a conductor but not without a god amen

Sunday, 17 June 2012


Lord I am here sitting in this little flat
i have at times dripped like a soggy sponge of spilling emotion
they are not so much vague memories so much as unrealized dreams
instead of the marriage and the wonderful exhibitions i have walking and murals and
a piano .newer ways and yet vulnerable as all thoughts and burstable thinks bubbles are

my friends have given me money bought me food
they have given sermons from church altar and cafe chair and car journey and coastal wlk and i have listened gartefully to their companionship
i dare not think of the joy pathos knindness and shared advnture of tom and the two arthurs of art and print and ceramics and oh this theatre set college life i once had with the encouragement of John Martin's exceptional intuitive guitar playing fantastic.

so then to go for a walk and to pray beyond all hope for your blessing on my finfances on my c.v. and on my maps of the roamn empire of my son and daughter on this father's day when i would if i could send some encouragement and gratitude to both them and to Norma

water under the bridge no the river of God's your provision for us all
i pray for alison and for steve whitby too
times have been hard and my heart has been sheltering in its hard shell and now hardship

what is that a hard ship one that sinks presumably lord help me with boat and umbrella aof the hioly spirit amen i like loise morgans website may i produce work as good as her for i find it wonderful amen

shoul di trust julia cameron's encouragement and just keep writing /it seem in no time at all the hope of the izzy pop stories and the wifi location of blue spotty teapot has gone but i still want to continue with my enthusiasm and courtship my dancing piano playing and my hope snoozy and diamond books seem to have folded like a deckchair on a beach i no longer want to realx upon unable to trust the blessing they at first appeared to be .oh for a more sincere and longer lasting partnership
so nice at first erik's enthusuiasm and my speedy cheap roughs for the most naieve of christian faith seeeds diamonds oh well it all folds on the deckchair on the beach that i no longer rtust to be kindly in its sunlight companionship and sense of family oh the poor children lord bless them and keep them alive to the possibilitiy as I am so sad that the fellowsip of southport college and my rising to leadership with printmaking and interiors i was fulfilled and i feel a kindly encouraging and enthusuiastic tutor -all i feel in many ways stolen from me

oh the joy of finding inspirational things to share in the college library and inmy heart and intht building when it was first offerd to us to do something new alive and fresh with jane gardner and bob and neil and diane what a team of inspirational kindness with ian the technician and john the photgraphic technician and skilled man too.oh the titin joy of it all the hopefulness and niccki too.still all was not as it should be one fire escaped from another threatening to flare up and all bathsheba like under the premise of i am in love yet the romantic firwork of a suspect movie evaporated and the outside the baths ready for an exciting holiday dip became a zoo trip with more of an elephant house chovel and brush oh how sad that the energy that once was for cakes and saws and badges and burning line and industry fell completely apart with cigarettes vanity and leather jackets and occupational health and them and us acroos the raod and patoral care that couldn' truly care no not at all oh amen

Friday, 15 June 2012

THE SOURCE is set in a small village somewhere between North Africa and the Middle East.
For as long as anyone can remember, the women of the community have fetched water from a mountaintop spring in the blazing sun.
Leila, a young new bride, urges the other women to go on love strike: no more sex until the men run water to the village.

Film Review – The Source
Set in a fictional North African mountain village The Source follows the plight of a group of women who go on a love strike in protest at the perilous daily journey they are forced to take to fetch water for their community. After a series of accidents on their route newcomer Leila (Le├»la Bekhti) calls on the women in the village to stand up and demand change, to force the men to install a pipe to bring water to the village itself. With the support of ‘Mother Rifle’ (Biyouna), a female village elder figure, Leila and her supporters are emboldened to continue their strike in the face of growing opposition from the men who are happy with the way things are – indeed see it as their cultural right to sit and watch as the women fetch the water every day.
The film follows the challenges the women face during their strike, examining the different reactions of the men – ranging from violence to understanding, from apathy to active support – and the journey the women go on as they work together towards their objective.  Fighting against the formidable forces of traditionalist values, established views on the role of the sexes, the teachings of religion and age-old customs the villagers have observed for centuries the women encounter a series of struggles, both emotional and physical. What starts out as a simple request soon becomes a fight to the bitter end to modernise not just the village facilities but the entire way of life of its inhabitants.
The role of symbolism will not be lost on anyone watching the film, and with well-respected French art-house director Radu Mihaileanu at the helm the importance of it is not to be underestimated. Water as a metaphor for love is central – as long as water does not flow in the village love, physical or emotional, will be put on hold. Mihaileanu describes it too as “a metaphor for the withering heart”, central to the functioning of the village, the relationships of its inhabitants and their existence as sensual human beings.

It would be easy for the film to take sides with its characters, as the divisive issues it tackles have great potential to create clear-cut victims and villains. Mihaileanu works hard however to maintain a relatively neutral eye throughout the film, presenting different sides of the argument and highlighting the human failings of those characters such as Leila who would be easy to put on a pedestal. “Alain-Michel (co screenwriter) and I both dislike writing totally positive or totally negative characters” he says, working instead to give them all a “subjectivity that might justify their reasoning”. This makes for a more thought-provoking film as the viewer has to work harder to decide who to sympathise with.
Another way Mihaileanu maintains a distance between his characters and their audience is by filming in Darija, a little known Moroccan dialect that will no doubt be foreign to the vast majority of those who watch the film. As well as adding an authenticity to the production it reinforces the village’s physical remoteness and the women’s isolation from outside help. For the Western audience the language is impenetrable, forcing us to depend on subtitles and the characters’ tone of voice to understand how they are feeling. Mihaileanu also shot the whole film using a handheld Steadicam camera, in order to give the impression the viewer happens “upon characters in more ‘accidental’ more ‘unexpected’ ways…to give the film a tale-like dimension” which compliments the narrative’s distanced, factual flow.
The line between traditional and modern is another strong theme for the film, as some in the village fight for their modern right and others oppose it. Various characters represent the modern strands of village life, such as Leila’s teacher husband Sami (Saleh Bakri) who dresses in modern clothing and supports her strike. He also went against his family’s wishes for an arranged marriage, marrying village outsider Leila for love instead. Interestingly though the film chooses not to go down the obvious route of casting younger characters only as supporters of modernism. The ‘Mother Rifle’, one of the oldest people in the community, is all for the strike and the women’s fight. She represents how the old can merge with the new without losing established cultures and tradition as many of the villagers fear.

Modernity also appears in the film through technology, which the women do have limited access to. Sami’s family has a mobile phone for example, and Leila’s ex-lover is presented as a modern journalist/scientist with scientific tools. Mihaileanu also cautiously broaches the topic of Islamic fundamentalism, as neutrally as he does all his themes, as Mother Rifle’s son takes on more extreme religious views. In the face of the rich Muslim community we witness however – where song, dance and kind values take central stage – the misguided modern perception of extremism as widespread within Muslim culture loses all meaning here.
Music is woven tightly into the film’s narrative, with the women conveying many of their demands through song. At one of the numerous humorous points in the film the women sing to a group of Western tourists about how their money will go to waste in the village. As a Western viewer you can’t help but identify with – and feel a little embarrassed by – how they sit and watch the women as though they’re objects without any understanding of what is being said. Whether their objectifying of the women is any worse than that of the more disrespectful men in the community is up to the viewer to decide.

The film is beautifully shot with stunning scenery and colourful clothing. Despite the language barrier it would be hard not to feel involved in the women’s fight and identify with their wishes for some kind of independence and say about how the village is run. One thing that viewers could find frustrating though is that the women, despite their hard fight, never become truly independent of their husbands, relying on them to take their demands to the local authorities rather than do it themselves.
Against the backdrop of the Arab Spring and ongoing unrest in the area the film is an interesting look at some of the driving forces that could be inspiring those fighting for social and political change in the region. Cleverly taking inspiration from current events and tales of the past – Mihaileanu also drew from Aristophanes’ Lysistrata – it is an absorbing tale of individuals drawing on communities for strength to overcome obstacles to development and a better life. An exotic music score and alien setting contrast well with the fulsome female characters, who help us to see past superficial differences and appreciate the women as individuals rather than the collective ‘other’ they may first appear to be.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

reaching in for love

i love my mum dad and i believe and hope their love for me was there in there mutual joy at their two sons
my friend john phoned and my friend steve called and also david i am steering a ship of possibilities whilst noticing that i do not have much money and have in all likelihood gone into a minus at the bank.i see that reality but i also see the reality of mark and new work is for the christian publisher and the friendly seaside craft n gift store.integrtiy and quality .these were spoke of yesterday with brenda and kara in staacks
i like the aardman esque spelling of the shop name.i am also remembering that god allowed me and is allowing me to do and trust to do new things the routine of my work and walking and all i do is now in his hands i am out of the proverbial boat.i am walking on the thin skin of the water the currency of provision of isaih 55 the bus home and the bus to see my mum and i am mindful too that a simple pryaer of community is hanging with mums anonymously side by side in our caring gallery God's facebook amen

i haven't spoken to john gorman for a while but i believe i am enjoying through festival of first echoes the good seed he has planted and that God's love is indeed pouring through his God given intentionality to encourage and to share and create a creative space for his joy to flow into,I before He except after Christ
just playing with a grammar rule that no longer is to be taught apparently as it is no longer true.

i see on the wall before me the photo of one of my cardboard sculpture .it was christine kowal post's chainsaw wood carving that made me want to do these big paper mache scultures.the one that i am looking at comes apart into two pieces.with a very satisfactatory tube that fit the other on beneath these two halve look one whole scupture as the boy stands n the books and lifts his girl up to reach the satr she is reaching for.oh i know in my heart i have been loving and have been romantic and hopefilled whilst sensuaous and gentle.oh Lord i have been along time now letting go of this prayer.felt you answered it when i watched salmon fishing in the yemen .funny i had never met mark but could feel his loss as he spoke of losing the house he had put his all into.i can only prya and truly trust in the 'cuttin back the pruning' we spoke of and i look again at the asset based thinking 'what is the heart of god's desire for us the good things that you have placed there .we you have buried your word in our heart.mums the word.wisdoms the word ,hopes the word ,the sourece the river the love they are all the same word the word jesus holy spirit loving father i seek you amen  Hi forgive me for just diving into your page and swimming around like this,But I met a really nice guy I am working on a couple of creative projects with and it turns out he runs a community cinema in Hoylake and so I recalled the idea of new song with experimental animation,From working with a young family on the jubilee dolls , I realised that i can slow the figures i create down and then place them with their gentle shadows into a drawn landscape and take them for a wonder.I hope to do the backgrounds in simple black and white with hardly any tone whilst making the figures with evidence of their newspaper clothing and raggediness and hand madeness obvious.Any way there is the offer of us showing sharing and chatting about it with an audience when/if we do,Blessings Jim Fleming.I see stage one being the creation of the character(s) from the context of the scenario of your song

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

good to have a dream a hope and a prayer

that you can share
.I am inprayer as you read each time.That perhapss
and i feel somewhere it has to be true fro each one of us that we beleive that someone hears
God is that someone
I am not diminishing
the vastness of god but being aware of the vastness without being heard.
is harder to cope with
oh I know the madness of just a curcular routine faith in thought and reason
constantly becoming aware of a tral of unrealised goals.Yet I must remain hopeful
The girl who really cares for me
The books i can and will/must write to have a product
the illustrative journeys and journals I admire and want to emulate
My main three heroes and it feels good to think of them
Dr,Frederick franck kindly clear courtous and sensible mind with drawing of purpose writing of encouragement
Roanld Searle joyful jazz riff of humour and musical colourful comical joky picture and zest for being
not a cataolgue of creatures but a bath spashing ink spattering laughter of mark making and then the gentle world of MAurice Sendak creatures of comfort.

Oh well
friend i can only pray having fun and retelling recounting yet exploring possibilities and a falsk of tea in heaven together.

we have now things to share to recount i think of Steve Whitby and the encouragement i want to share.Oh to have some reliable funding that streams sufficiently for me to enjoy music and the growing in it.Oh let me Lord please encourage me lord I seek your love your hope not to be seen as a fool but enjoyed as a warrior of belief faith possibility if i am seen as unblessed incapable and sinking and not capable running out of fuel running out of blessing drwoning in a sea of sorrow then what how might i then dsicover gifts i can share encourage others to dip into faith of a mustard seed that grow into something more wondefful and hope encoutering your face warming to what kind expression and gentle giant friendliness ai long for there Did roald dahl encounter you whilst wrting did you guide the kindly soul of janet Ahlberg to paint those lovely pictures for her husband .Has Alan Ahlberg been able to dig deep of her memory and find new happiness in courting say another lovely girl.This life I am finding hard with diminished friendship and dividng streams i am sorry that Julie does not like my work and that erik cannot show her what he sees in my drawings. I pray for greater concert somehow.

I put my faith in God.And in some way that faith is placed in my limited perception .I try to form a picture or feel a reality that I am able to form and find and step into and maintain.I found Ralph good until he copied others.I know it is a model of the way the colleges work the contextual studies of rod taylor I think it was.Oh artists in residence in schools doing what they do without being watered down now able to swim in their own strength to show there is life outside the shared common pool another freer individualright to become 'you' The selpof matteringat all.

A dream to bring about that might yet be true.

A world shared withanother kindly minded person

Oh why was that not the wife of the begun adventure whhy did she not exist both in reality and my heart
why did she leave me when the children were born only to find herself lost and lose me too.Oh I have come here to the private pages once more as they seem lord to constitue a less listened to traffic of the mind a place with you or at least with more of myself and my own uninterupted hopefulness.

I will go and share .or should I stay longer in this stream stream of my heart of hopefulness welling up making me well again a place were others cannot disturb with their imageined truth-that like mine imagine its stands further back and therefor sees more.yet when we get truly nonest doesn't.

In someways by imagining that I have gone to facebook prayer or Coliseum of lions waht shall we say..