Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Blackness/darkness, twice nothing

Woke this morning with Derek's poem on blackness or is it darkness still finding images in my mind
treacle sticky toffee poem.Tarmac sticking to his shoe as a lad.And I was teaching how complementary colours darken each other viz orange to ble violet to yellow and red to green.

Derek was talking about the necessity for darkness and sleep is an essential one and being able to hide our eyes from brightness.Derek is a welsh gentleman who breakfasts with John and I in Char bar each Tuesday a.m and intends to write a poem on darkess.

I have bought a cheap halogen heater and it differes mightily from the radiator in the glow it give I have a cheap sunshine in the dark of my flat.I myself am attempting to become lighter and my darkness is the money I pay to belong to Weight watchers when I can ill afford extra pennies like this and had hoped ''''oh well....."

My dieting Christmas card entitled the 'get'.
Disappointment despite success.

 Because I more than achieved my pound something goal for
 weightwatchers only to discover I was not gold
and my membership for weightwatchers is not yet free.As the bmi
goal Amy had found for me was not as I imagined I had note 13.5 and had got won from 14 13
only to find the weight goal for me needs to be a max of 11.6 or so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

So then disappointment is also necessary.
I am reading the shadow of the wind and
in it an author dies unknown yet affecting people who find his books an asset esepecially to a blind girl who says his book had given ther eyes -light in her dark world.

The writing goal I have is getting a little light as I use my smalll balck mini web book that can only really cope witht the aid of a usb and hardly ever achieves its wifi purpose yet that was not my real goal so flowing with the asset based thinking and Julia Cameron's morning pages directive of keep going without too much editing just keep turning up at the page so I will.I am doiung so here on the old laptop whose battery life is so dull it is invialid edededed to staying here aattached to the internet .When mu little yet feeble netbook charges I will be palcing its text in a usb that may perhap produce these blogs by default not the right word but heh.

Don't edit Julia says but the computers highlight every error or every none american spelling -oh well.just keep writing .Watched a brilliant rambling associative piece on telly about diners had Suzanne Vega and Edward Hopper and some hyperrealist painter with a museum of diners too.I get ti the need to be where people are
I should travel write and interview and draw people and cafes ......
I did this in fact and three article I illustrated this way for Cheshire Life magazine -will head out that way again as I reempire myself with asset based thinking-what have I gort to use? then use same .

Observation memory imagination goals achievements self applause encouragement
So in the back of my mind with all these other snippets bits is the writing course I am trying to get back to. I have revised the unit on plot planning and on theming and synopsis.

This character needs a goal.One of mine diet .the other writing the another money making .
Theme overcoming persevering succeeding. I have maintained diet walking and endeavour to have an implement to write with.Also I have been doing what I can to market myself.And I am back to Morning pages keeping.Here is the evidence you are reading it or at least scanning.

Create  character and give him a goal
the goal for so long has been
get that love back beloved.
Not gone away just road works sign says
GOD AT WORK-no apologies he is God afterall!

Obstacles require I create a character with a goal.
Whilst I am one
want another outside myself

What name to give him   ?

Tempted to write about Isobel Poppy my grand daughter but too soon to idealise visualise....yet

No a me charcter boy with an impluse to make sense of things
theme has to be keep going with a hopeful heart encourage

Goal to find a home a way  a fulfilling dream to work on
shal I put typewriter pen running shoes wings what does he want to achieve?
What obstacles must he face 

my own are emotional economic loneliness disappointment skills contacts needs
the course suggests people are the obstacle-people with opposite goals

I have a neighbour who want to play his instrument but he suffers an ailment which cause him to require drugs the grus prevent him from playing and he gets depressed but if he doesnt and he gets to play it all gets ourt of hand as he becomes ill and his illness is anti social and so must be restrained...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I pray for him
but the stroylins must not conclude from miracles and dreams but be a result of the slkill of the character and his responses too each obstacel until he is shaped into a charcter and the story informs others how the worthy them and discoveries will benefit them to learn from.

The little red light is still on on my mini web book so I think I will ahve a look se haow far it has to charge itself

Morning pages is supposed to be 3 pages long and unreviewed so I think that concludes the ramble for the moment.

Other goals are playing the violin preparing guitar lessons improving my bass playing  and practicing piano.

O know there are lots of spelling mistakes and you want this neat well I suppose i don't know that that is more my own self criticism.I think I will go and get the two adverts I produced on the other computer and upload them here or decoration.

Just remembered why I put twice nothing in the title
'Our? ' minister Brian a kindly sincere faithful leader and preacher of God's good word
when packing up after music said to myself and Ann I will pay you double for that.
Ann said twice nothing is still....and Brian completed 'nothing'
and I said not sure .Don't think I believe in nothing so there's something.
And a minus times a minus equals a plus.

Monday, 28 November 2011

Tender maintenance of endeavour

My heart and mind are seeking something.
A request is not a demand -just a tender-
hearted hopefulness.Waking in the morning
-well this and many I recall regularly,is this
mindfullnees of all those who are/were good.

Arthur Gee for example was not overly proud
courteous and gifted with humility soft spoken
 and interested.A listener a hoper sharer
carer kindly minded man.I hope their are
print rooms and a a piano in heaven with
the Jesus I have sought to share for him to
see through the eyes of purity and childlike
 playful discovery disclosing revealing enabling
the aspiration to enjoy being.

He admired many Tunnicliffe and unknown
tender eyed mark makers who  made such lovely
hand made books.Oh for those shared discoveries
a small crafts gallery somewhere and yes a pretty smiling girl
somewhere.Whilst we were not seriously beer swigging
lusting lads,nor dower cynicals of unsweet bitter tea,yet
butty  eating and flask enjoying modest soldiers journeyers
students of what to draw and what draw with next.
Oh for that same companinship and similarly I miss
Dr Frederick Franck who was company through a
 book-the Zen of Seeing  that caused a good road to
 form beyond the narrows of vanity with the touch
of Christ's purpose for me the 'me' that we all share.
The us that is true fellowship the church with the
 small c rather than the big I am of the ego filled C
the Church that does not see.

Oh something in me in life in the hopefulness.
Tom Wayles has this quality.I have seen how
 vulnerable and human we all are .Oh as I think
 in the quiet and  the tender hopefulness of nearing
 Christmas I am seeking you God Jesus Holy Spirit
You are not the shallow panel of judges of a heavenly
 X factor.You are not looking for a star you are the
 light giving all seeing all caring all being worth caring
 about three in all that is and are in some mysterious
goodness All that there is and all that is is good through you.

Believe in nothing But God.
God is what who and why all is
every fragrance heart beat imaging
'seeling' of what ever detail point or suchness
 imaginable.Perhaps it is a sin to publicly pray
for those who we hope with all our being to bless.
Simon Wallis needs God's goodness to feed his
 human battery so that he can wind the cogs of
schools imaginations and tunefully roll along the
keys of the dinner hall piano keys that feed the
 kids with the seasoning of good food

FIVE A DAY perhaps a Christian hymn or the beatles
a c major chord or a one accord breakfast of cylce repairs
 and shepherding of the shepherds in the scools.
The bigger picture unfolds from Tom and Simon the St s
on the hill bless these neighbour both.

This has been my morning pages form the quiet
cold November monday the last in 2011

Oh but what then is it I seek ?.I seek Lord security
hopefullness energy income and a wife .
Arthur Frederick Tom and Simon have been blessed with
good ladiesin the background of their lives.
My friend George Ryan too and all those friends who make any real
sense have known or know caring sisters to their being.
Oh I pray for Barbara and for my past marriage and I
seek wholesome companionship.My friends occasionally
 pray for me on this one and the yearning seems to leave me.
I seem to accept sad songs are all mine.Unrequitedness aaaaah!
Horrible empty being here by myself
story writing to distract myself from the longing to cook
 for and be cooked for to share warmth and hope and
aspiration walks of wonder teacups of time together
come home my heart all is reliving.Let something be brand new
a born again husband  in a creative joy.Yet I dont not want either
 dating site nor dirty book.and I do not want to spend my life
 in a  dieter's self denial club.Oh help Lord in the public blogging prayer site
where I hope to do the Julia Cameron morning pages of
 saying my feelings and thought to improve or
at least sustain the writing activity and play the notes
may find their octave or locate the song that God chooses
 this life of mine to play upon whilst I sustain simply being
and waiting it seems feels.Aaaaaaaaaaah! A cartoon loneliness

Monday, 21 November 2011

Being hoping praying staying alive.

When all else seems to fail just keep going. Go on feeling loved believing you are relevant knowing you are here.
Joanne Harris's book The Artist's Way suggests just keep writing even when you do not know what to write.
Loving my neighbor as myself and least of one of these and Emmanuel God amongst us.

What to say? Am I praying or just keeping going.Whilst yet I live in whatever sate Joanne Harris is right  just keep writing.So sustaining is the key to what- success?Well that is a tricky one in the light of this expression:

Success suggests God's love no more than struggle suggests a lack of it.

Change is happening.NAPA was once a brand new idea in the mind of a friend .It was to be sustained and has been.It was a creatinve use of plastic paint,which like words would and at times did create possibilities.Ken Hodgson and I met on a very interesting yet short live course run by the Open University
The course was called TAD292 I think .I remember we called ourselves Tadpoles-those of us attending a summer school in Brighton.Felt like the  'born again' invitation of Jesus.Abundance was what Jesus said of life.
Fully alive and hopeful and creative noticing many ways of being -not hedonism just child like joy in form sound and image playful creative rethinking being.Art as hopefulness-Paul Klee ,Chagall ,Bob Dylan and Dyson .Did you know that John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath ,Woody Guthrie's Dust bowl blues and the Vacuum cleaner are all the result of the dust clouds being observed and devastation being given a spin?

Any way no time to explain and I am listening to seagulls in a cold November morning dark sky at 7.40
typing as a thing to do just like practicing piano or walking.Keep going .Let sense make itself as it is wont to do eventually retrospectively as Joni Mitchell said 'you don't know what you've got till its gone'.

'Something is happening here and you don't know what it is -do you Mr.Jones' says Dylan and so these are the phrases and ideas informing my walk as I reflect on Ken's National Acrylic Painter's Association.Associative free associativeness .Plastic paint that like words can say anything .Ken was 'art trained' perhaps enough to know that dad was eventually accepted and the emperor's new clothes seen as a revelation of the truth behind the pomp.Those who said he wasn't art trained lay in the wings.Having created nothing themselves they needed him to give it to them to train into something boring limited in scale and only inclusive if the product complied with their authorititive interpretation of aesthetics that involved  purpose and many othe 'holy' essentials of their golden 'section'-ing

Ken I won't be there at the final NAPA showdown.
Thank you for the amazing time I had with so many wonderful people.
I have little to offer at present and NAPA
is no longer useful as I cannot do the little picturess they want,

Now that you are free of it satrt to adventure and become free
I suggest SARKS new creative companion
a bit like TAD292.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

How's my prayer life?

From my point of view not from God's it feels unanswered
but I cannot really know.My habits have changed
 but my hope is still the same.
Feeling a need to be physically active meant changing my morning reading pen and bible for boots and shoreline.

Stepping out keep going keep trusting keep hoping is that prayer?Knowing a need to write and for dialogue or the morning pages of writing drawing is strong with me.

My financial resources have been dwindling and I have reached into funds I had hoped to leave alone.

Looking at my other assets I am trying my best to draw and keep drawing as Dr Franck suggested as a friend and as author of the Zen of Seeing so this is going to have images that are either meditative doodles and hopes or quick snatchings of the eye in Toast ,Linghams and The Ship Hoylake.

I found these first few doodles when looking in the plastic box of bits that I keep my writing course work in -my in tray .It has been full for 2 years on hold awaiting a portable laptop
with a battery that lasted more than a few seconds.
There are these drawing made in Toast as I sat and pondered being on hold sometime early summer.These of passers bye in the crescent opposite:

In another submission on this blog I think I upladed by Barcelona people and the drawing of Kappa band.

These are Zen of seeing and not sketches as my respect for Dr.Frederick Franck runs deep .Both book and concept Seeing-drawing as meditation is for me a prayerful celebration of life seeing life.A sketch is for picture making or furniture building etc-these are for themselves though I concede to them being tuning up for a larger melody.

So these were made a while ago and I found them as I am revising synopsis and plot plan in the hope of resuming my writing course now that I have a little web book to write and save on whilst drinking tea and point counitng (Weightwatchers style) in cafes.
These next drawings were made at' First Thursday' a poetical evening on the first Thursday of each month in Linghams Heswall:

From this point on it is the jazz musicians that play
at the Ship Hoylake 

Sunday, 6 November 2011

The new Tin tin film

Steven Speilberg has created a wonder!
Go and see it .
Thank you God
the girl I love beside me
 and an artist I admire given new life wow!
grateful  Jim

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

weight loss-one stone!

One Stone!

So then I have lost 1 stone and a bit since this holiday photo.
I will lose another stone before donning shorts shirt and oh unfortunately the hat did not do well in the wash and has shrunk too but that will no doubt add humour when I upload new slim jim bearded grandad Santa style  me.

 Yesterday whilst working on my new website for the murals I found I had saved these lovely images of gardeners from one of Simon Wallis' Bikeit projects thought Id' put it here in the blog because I liked them so much. Oh and the details of the new website :