Thursday, 31 May 2012


Lord I come to you as a boy a man a  child and your creature.The goldfish have clean water andIan and Julie have been kind to me.That Julie is encouraged to be in prayer with her mother and Alison Lacey's faith and shared prayer has been answered is wonderful.i can hear the goodness in them both.the enthusiasm as the family listened to the Apprentice too lovely.The laptop has been able to upload at good speed the short films of the Moore family and I am to download the emails from Snoozy and from the Christian sources and i have Andrew's project to to consider .Lord bless Ken Izli's project too amen.A journey into town to see himat the cafe?
I would like to prepare the flat and take a walk with George. I will phone him to see whether today is a good day, so as to enable me to go by bus to Heswall tomorrow i.e. if I am going in am I perhaps I am not?.I think I will and that means walk today and then I can tidy tomorrow design the Snoozy pattern.
So then to send a text message to Dee and an email to Ken .perhaps meet David tomorrow evening.
certainly feel that I should like to heal  our conversation recontextualise it for us both.I am not unwilling to have a job ,just do not want to feel trapped by compromise.Freedom in your love and your encouragement ,which to me is real .real as those i have known who evidence your presence even though they themselves are unaware of same.Frederick,Arthur,Arthur,George ,John,Brian Brian,Allan,Jane Howcroft others too.And the illustrators too Janet Ahlberg.Shall I take a journey with my tax papers to Southport with my new book I shall I feel and then perhaps see a picture at Fact.First things first.

1.Phone George for the walk-perhaps today to kick start the changes
2.Phone Dee to inform of Amy's visit.
3.Ask Ken Izli where he will be today.
4.Printout the jobs.
5.have my walk with George.
6.Have my artists date with tax papers new book and with Julia and a notebook

I am interested in Caroline thoughts.How is she progressing with the Artist's way and with
her album.Writing is more work than inspiration and yet I have my children's stories about izzi Pop to get on with and so much to learn of my daughter Amy's adventures too.

To keep writing till you hit paydirt.

I will have a look at the scripture in word for toady and also the shape of Julia's suggestions too.

Asking what others are thinking is a very important beginning too.

i will ask how the songs are coming along after I have dealt with the list of my own objectives too.

I have in fact quite a lot to do for there are the films by the Moores and i want to get up todate on any promises I said I would keep amen.

Monday, 28 May 2012

monopoly bored

join a band share some gardening
get out and about
phone a friend

Sunday, 27 May 2012


shared mutual endeavour
to simply take part
starts with me carrying these words
 that have assembled
themselves in my mind
a collection of positives
that have sieved and sifted themselves
 ready for physical encouragement
as i set out on  a simple day
 yet an optimistic day
well yes they all are
 for me
and i pray for you to
as i begin a sereious sweep of radical tidying and of chucking out that mnay mean a trip to the tip or to the green bin
i still do not have a grey as the counsel have not heard my plea and my neighbours though informed have not properly responded oh well fort the momenyt i must simple work with waht i have got but of course the recycling plan has been scuppered by a theft of the grey and the well red squirrrelled away bits and pieces must be gone then to the tip somehow
i need as the lone souldeier of this flat to prepare fro wahtever work i am able to perform to meet with God's intention and heart for me and beleive by behaving the thing into place
today is very much one of creainting thinking space and celebrating
haven't time to edit this
know there are errors but mustn't go back when the outpouring of thought pours out something intrigueing the riff of being me
today my simple script is this one to
caetidy crete space then to complete my little scuptures drill a series of holes in the wooden raod charge the batteries of the two cameras do a stop motion with green background upload the new software and then to
assemble the foam board and drawing background

by returning i managed to scroll down when the slider had a limit
right today i will clear the space i need put the bathwater on i need the kitchen and the lounge to have thinking space so i will put that onto facebook and get on with it amen and become honest in public again amen

Goals and current achievements and affirmations and core values

here we go here we go here we go
if a thing's worth doing it's worth sharing
and we do

gardening dancing meals
fellowship feelings cricket n walks

breakfasting singing praising and wondering
listening encouraging talks
sure we miss others who used to share these things smiling with all of us
and we will think of them still life is a puddle a puzzle a wandering thing
sense that tingle and spill let there be tunes and delight in the ordinary then let there be surprises not our other must have them and we will say that look nice and seek to explore and fulfil
outside the birsong just like at the cricket match sunshine a friend with me still
till on the train we return with our sunburn and tiredness
as i walk alone on a hill i am getting on fine with my moments of fellowship no longer a courtship to tire
its just no good must be love not just worrying whether i wore the right tie whether my chin was shaved wore lots of aftershave felt like a chump or a clown felt i had broken some rule that suits everyon wondering if fun might be mine wondering if blurt of a negative chilly erosion would get to me leave me stranded in some lonely tower not the lofty and ivory built superoirity nor in the destined to fail i jus want some peace as i seek gifts that God wants to share with me spend a small time on my own went to see seconf film all by myself again is this a pattern to please could it be a small gathering might like then to come with me to later discuss say one of latestrelease.

pay dirt
says hurt
pay dirt
could be pay gold wonderful rather than clever realisation
i am i feel by remaining her off the dsancefloor of the facebook page sitting at the side whilst some music may be getting dim in the distance i did not i felt belong and in some ways had not managed to be included perhaps giving off some smirking superiority that must be put down
the thing my dad dave off
i mis arthur because we were like to rebels escaping the smug and yet perhaps cheekily enjoying a clown's hatpin pssibility of doing something sincere subtle and kind amen

so returning to today's plan this is the thing walking would ken izel beleieve that he can find time for walking
what of philip it is a risk i know but would he be able to sustain a walk to help him to grow he has cameron's proportions but not his resourcefulness perhpas as yet
i look around at the charactors am i seeing them like brian i want to raise qustions like planted seeds not to create some self fulfilling anticipated awareness that i know will result but to plant god's wonder and share its transforming new freshness will i tidy the flat

i beleive by tidying th flat that i will in fact create a clarity that i will both maintian and benefit the music which still needs to find form amen

Saturday, 19 May 2012

oh well

fill the well
stock the pond
keep oh keeping on
you are always where you belong
be strong let \god be
be within him in theo
enthuse enthusiastic
cared for loved
illogical is still realistic being miracles are an every day occurrenece there for do not worry that the whole world chooses in its corporate mind its commedian audience mode of supr cynicism not to believe or to choose to believe in its company keeping cynicism the condition of acceptance and sneering eye to eye we showed the one who foolishly seemed to care for their mortality just what was what yet at the same time on the other similar strand of ineffective companionship the eaters of stale bread were travelling towards patronising pretenscious smugness   no that aint it the aloneness the loneliness the outsider the not in the crowder me is still genuine you can be a doubter and a wonderer what iffer and a hoper that has a grain of faith whist realizing both positions are incomplete pictures and attempts to belong aaah wil this one be heard amen

the voice of authentic hopefulness has to be the voice of honesty whether you are kneeling down aching over your worl trusting that it will grow praying a secular companionship of expalnations of reason prayer within the mechanism of the mutual cleverness of peopleness or deciding to live outside the crowd no i have to walk away if i vever feel unwanted though i cnnot prove it and though it is only in my head nevertheless i am not vain enough confident enough to lie to myself the need to be really real prevents us all from completely joining the two group availabe.

Monday, 14 May 2012

bathwater on

hope awakening
self talk in the positive
 three word drifts
snatches of thought
 small enough
to feel their edges
lines of thought whisps of idea
glances of images
 heat of a slurp
four words
works better
 need and- s and the-s and a-s
only hoping to
 get around
 the lack of

no this inhibitis and stilts the want to flow like a river so oprobably best just accept mistakes erros mispellings and when it is important that others read comfortable with out feeling there has beeen no stopping at the lights and not making reference perhaps to loaded words like multi tasking which has becoem associated to strongly with man women divides reinforcing the walls that sterotypical male female politics causes and then gets blamed for something how to avoid the snipy word gse plotical culture of now i belong to this group now i am an outsider to that one no i do not have the qualifications of belonging unconditionallly

oh to jsut get on with it that is why prayer itself the truest dialogue you are vever going to have with yourself is powerful oh well i realise i am outside the dancing group for they are travelling their own wave of enthusiasm and ability lord how to sustain and maintain a goal and not stop there is still my piano goal and the dance offers me the scope for studying the art of scribbling too perhaps to ask alison  but then not to be a nuisance to any one  i suppose i treat the morning pages as a sort of back ground mumbling of hopefulness and the revelation of an honest heart breaking free of the persistent blurts of hopelessness i have to believe in this susatained stream of thought action walking paointing playing and show no great concern for editorial worry .o the conesequences of rambling freely to my lord where other saints can overhear my pryaer is something i realise you did n lord jesus or none of us would know the prayers that john wrote down that you must have spoken aloud not proud but humbly but certainly ot subvocalised as st john or john the loved overheard and i hang my testimony accusation bridge of inclusive unity on the susccinst versions i have placed on my lips those two scriptures the one being i have others who are not of this flock and they know their masters voice and i will be in them as my father will be in me that thye will know perfect unity that they are as loved as i am   and as yioy know the reconciling verse of your love what you do or do not do for the least of one of these you do or do not do for me amen

i want a bath and i want to get the bus at qureter to ten so i will leave this now and decide to have porridege get dressed and go

Thursday, 10 May 2012


determined today to exercise have artist date look at the positive essay of artist way deliver disc and painting and do what i can to enjoy freedom and self growth and hopefilled ness amen I have just decided to cycle to brookdale and to dane cottage

a blurt or moan this site no longer makes it possible to get back to the draft so can loose when trying to get back to same for some reason beyond me

oh well blurt over day and goals and positiveness and tea and dishes to wash looking forward dee have just requested a print and i want to make other prints for dee alos the one they want is the editioned caldy church i think


the thing is to meet with this appointment perhaps i need julia and the word for today
although there is stream of consciousness and though there is stocking the pond there are letters to friends and there are playingness of sark and there is letting good affirmative words and thought shape me amen

goals for today letters one to snoozy and one to john layton
whilst i have the account to do that is not first but will be soon amen
to do izzy pop story assignment at blue spotty tea pot can even sednthe asgnment of ffrom there on this very netbook amen

to stop a minute and refelct i have had an artist date this week and infact two i painted a beutiful garden and it is here

i look and realise i am now jim christ's heart first and must let this become really real and pray for the love of my author the love that gave me sendak searle franck lklee chagall and my own scibbleability amen

my eyes enjoyed all kinds of possibilities jimmy rae playing in the sheltered canopy and perhaps me playing harmonica from the shed where i will draw this is a possibility mmm.

Joni write s
All I Want

by Joni Mitchell  

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
Traveling, traveling, traveling
Looking for something, what can it be
Oh I hate you some, I hate you some, I love you some
Oh I love you when I forget about me

I want to be strong I want to laugh along
I want to belong to the living 
Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive
I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive
Do you want - do you want - do you want to dance with me baby
Do you want to take a chance
On maybe finding some sweet romance with me baby
Well, come on

All I really really want our love to do
Is to bring out the best in me and in you too
All I really really want our love to do
Is to bring out the best in me and in you
I want to talk to you, I want to shampoo you
I want to renew you again and again
Applause, applause - Life is our cause
When I think of your kisses my mind see-saws
Do you see - do you see - do you see how you hurt me baby
So I hurt you too
Then we both get so blue.

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
Looking for the key to set me free
Oh the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling
It's the unraveling
And it undoes all the joy that could be
I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun
I want to be the one that you want to see
I want to knit you a sweater
Want to write you a love letter
I want to make you feel better
I want to make you feel free
I want to make you feel free

© 1970; Joni Mitchell

Thursday, 3 May 2012

how are you doing?

without nagging myeself and trusting that God has given me the creative mind he wishes me to have i am going to now wirte again the goals i have in my repetoire and seek a blessing on the gifts God has in his heart for these thoughts and for fresh thought and insights from my lord jesus Christ in his love for me through the power of the \Holy SPirit fo the child jim me

G    to write children's books and to illustrate them 

R   this has the reality of my having worked through and remained encouraged by the artist's way that i believe consistent with my dad's emphasis rememebered in a moment he suggested money is currency meant to flow and so the thought to as gifts talents they are not meant to be buried but to flow and then the artist's dates go and restock the pond by being in new locations or looking a fresh at gentle safe spaces that are your appointments as a child with the child safe with God's company in beach trees old second hand shops swimming walking learning taking in amen

my son gave me a netbook and i recontacted my tutor from the writing course and i have commenced an idea that i will work further on and i have enjoyed doing some reading of other's books and succeeded with artist's dates enjoyed publishing ideas films listening to friends and publishing them on facebook

G  to play piano
 R  Reality i have purchased with removal men time and effort the piano
that now stand with keyboard and with pump organ that brings me closer to playing and simon has shown me how to root for melody and ned had shown me the relationship with minor scal and pentatonic scale
jimmy rae had shown me boogie woogie playing and i have studied the tradional fingerings and timings of the stave and have put it aside as too formal and severe seeming to encourage cruely and misuse of feelingfulness and aharness of unkindness and cold none commmitemtnt but that may be associative as the tutor and i had persoanl issues f mutual resentmentments and lack of surrender to caring /trust oh lord let me leve all that behind i itried that and i need to learn differently in a less regimented time frame

 O My options for writing and for piano

Set a schedule of some kind to meet with my need to practice both and set my self some deadlines
I have the assignment 8 to complete and send off
I may proceed with the guild music exam
I will enjoy Jimmy Rae's second boogie lesson