My heart and mind are seeking something.
A request is not a demand -just a tender-
hearted hopefulness.Waking in the morning
-well this and many I recall regularly,is this
mindfullnees of all those who are/were good.
Arthur Gee for example was not overly proud
courteous and gifted with humility soft spoken
and interested.A listener a hoper sharer
carer kindly minded man.I hope their are
print rooms and a a piano in heaven with
the Jesus I have sought to share for him to
see through the eyes of purity and childlike
playful discovery disclosing revealing enabling
the aspiration to enjoy being.
He admired many Tunnicliffe and unknown
tender eyed mark makers who made such lovely
hand made books.Oh for those shared discoveries
a small crafts gallery somewhere and yes a pretty smiling girl
somewhere.Whilst we were not seriously beer swigging
lusting lads,nor dower cynicals of unsweet bitter tea,yet
butty eating and flask enjoying modest soldiers journeyers
students of what to draw and what draw with next.
Oh for that same companinship and similarly I miss
Dr Frederick Franck who was company through a
book-the Zen of Seeing that caused a good road to
form beyond the narrows of vanity with the touch
of Christ's purpose for me the 'me' that we all share.
The us that is true fellowship the church with the
small c rather than the big I am of the ego filled C
the Church that does not see.
Oh something in me in life in the hopefulness.
Tom Wayles has this quality.I have seen how
vulnerable and human we all are .Oh as I think
in the quiet and the tender hopefulness of nearing
Christmas I am seeking you God Jesus Holy Spirit
You are not the shallow panel of judges of a heavenly
X factor.You are not looking for a star you are the
light giving all seeing all caring all being worth caring
about three in all that is and are in some mysterious
goodness All that there is and all that is is good through you.
Believe in nothing But God.
God is what who and why all is
every fragrance heart beat imaging
'seeling' of what ever detail point or suchness
imaginable.Perhaps it is a sin to publicly pray
for those who we hope with all our being to bless.
Simon Wallis needs God's goodness to feed his
human battery so that he can wind the cogs of
schools imaginations and tunefully roll along the
keys of the dinner hall piano keys that feed the
kids with the seasoning of good food
FIVE A DAY perhaps a Christian hymn or the beatles
a c major chord or a one accord breakfast of cylce repairs
and shepherding of the shepherds in the scools.
The bigger picture unfolds from Tom and Simon the St s
on the hill bless these neighbour both.
This has been my morning pages form the quiet
cold November monday the last in 2011
Oh but what then is it I seek ?.I seek Lord security
hopefullness energy income and a wife .
Arthur Frederick Tom and Simon have been blessed with
good ladiesin the background of their lives.
My friend George Ryan too and all those friends who make any real
sense have known or know caring sisters to their being.
Oh I pray for Barbara and for my past marriage and I
seek wholesome companionship.My friends occasionally
pray for me on this one and the yearning seems to leave me.
I seem to accept sad songs are all mine.Unrequitedness aaaaah!
Horrible empty being here by myself
story writing to distract myself from the longing to cook
for and be cooked for to share warmth and hope and
aspiration walks of wonder teacups of time together
come home my heart all is reliving.Let something be brand new
a born again husband in a creative joy.Yet I dont not want either
dating site nor dirty book.and I do not want to spend my life
in a dieter's self denial club.Oh help Lord in the public blogging prayer site
where I hope to do the Julia Cameron morning pages of
saying my feelings and thought to improve or
at least sustain the writing activity and play the notes
may find their octave or locate the song that God chooses
this life of mine to play upon whilst I sustain simply being
and waiting it seems feels.Aaaaaaaaaaah! A cartoon loneliness