seeking to share in some inherent goodness

Oh Lord
and any reader

you know I am sympathetic
to Lennon's imagine
and Eddie Izzard's
and other friends questioning of natural disasters
like tsunamis.

How can I share a faith that has been sieved
and thinned and only has a thin
 thread of hope in it

I do not wish to argue
and my prayers
are not evidence of response
nor my persistence itself
testimony to your goodness

o help as i look to the title
i gave this heart felt hopefilled
aspiration and belief in you Jesus

i seek to share you
and that something
my faith maintains despite
the disasters

we are as i found myself saying
 all spin doctors of
positivity and gratitude

all arguments seem arrogant in the face of our mortality
whether we are faith filled or feel it is all by chance

no easy answers
and God is too small a word for that which matters
the maintenance of joy hope and love

o what are we supposed to say?

yet like the psalmist
i put my hope in a savior
and yes you Jesus
are the only one i have found
let us be kind and realize you
are who you are
and who you say
amen

p.s.
in my foolishness
i found myself
saying that i did not like my face
nor my voice
i think i was just trying to unmask my ordinariness
or reveal that i am noticing
how critical i am of my agingness
my repentence
is not before a bullying God
but before who i trust and believe to be a loving father
o that we should all share in this mutually
 comforting reality
(to me  at least in this moment of faith feelingfulness)
again i say amen
for i know that in my not knowing nevertheless i am still believing in Christ
the cross and the resurrection forgiveness that is there in the book

Lord thank you for all the good guides who take this
mountain of 66 writers and share it a crumb at a time
 but in faithfulness to the wholeness of it all which is LOVE

preaching or yearning?
Yet i have just taken stock of my uninviting arrogance
when my face sets to unsympathetic
and my words to vitriolic cruelty

a few seconds of life
 should be enough miracle
what of our human disaster
i am not God 
and you do care
even if i fail to share 
the proof s
you have my heart believe.