today options and realities

Okay then without generalising about others and i
.
I choose to look for the good in the assets i have


the writing course i beleive is right that
 i must not seek to
rely on inspiration alone
 but make an endeavour to work out /on the writing
similarly whilst

I understand that the stream of consciousness in itself will not come out
punctuated into the music of carefully placed metronome organised rhythms

nevertheless it lets me step out and then seive rather than
imagining myself  blocked and monotonously waiting for change


Something in me dares to say that i do not believe boredom worry awaiting
the discernment of a singular narrow gifting is 'waiting on the Lord'
no I believe that that is not keeping your lamp alight at all
no more than burying money will cause any kind of a harvest
we must get out there
I must get my thoughts out and take a look at them
yet i do believe not in neuro linguistic programming
but in following up truthful leads of the spirit
and saying 'I will' and then sustainiing and fuelling an endeavour

what is my purpose in choosing the adventure of 'abundant life,
choose life being alive to it all is what i pray for my children friends
and grand children.To get excited and have a go

Today I have all the goals synthesing themselves into a picture of action
a danger that has attacked yesterday is that of blogging stream of consciousness scribbling into others ears
'take it more slowly' a friend says and then when I do i feel like i am now seen as patronising for doing so
a similar situation to the arrgoance of sherlock holmes being himself in the modern episode of Sherlock


yet it is not my brightness but my rooting around that I am longing to liberate others to enjoy

is it hedonist?
don't think it is self indulgent to admit that the pre writing 'scribble' is th point at which drawing takes place
nor that the splashing for bouyancy is the place that swimming began
thus invitng the freedom of life in abundance untrapped by pharisees that jesus spoke of

religious Christianity is not i beleive what Jesus way is about
nor discerning the one gift you have been given

'I don't think it is my gifting'

is like the student who told me it was easy for me because i am an artist


yet i know that the intuitive leap of making a mimicry mark of an object nearby
uses the same dance an re presentation doodling that forming letters did years ago

th gift from God is the ablity to sustain begin retain interest find time and develop
the longing to do the wonderful things my eyes had witnessed in Searle
Da Vinci Klee et al

inspiration won't get you as far as the amiainted ability to have a go

so today
 I will make the illustrated a4 4 side intruction drawings and notes that Simon has requested.
 I will experiment with this netbook and microsoft word and the illustartion
 I will walk to Simon's and drop it through his door and also work in the blue spotty teapot -hope it is open
 I will practice piano
 I will come up with plot plan ideas and revise my writing notes

 I will place here the notes from a book on relaxation some I trust concur with the Holy Spirit's leading and Jesus heart for the least of one of these.Thus doing the morning pages for today to a suggested length
I will revise a little more of Julia Cameron's The Artist's way which is not of the hocus pocus new age stuff
that some Christian's fear but i beleive of the John 10.16 ilk


I have others who are not of this flock and they know their master's voice

I beleive in One unlimitable god- I beleive in nothing but god
and their will be One flock and One Shepherd and he is seeking
 out the strays within and without the church

I think of George Harrison's

Life goes on within you and without you
Time will come when you'll see we're all one

try to see beyond yourself you may find peace of mind is waiting there

I give you a peace says Jesus beyond the world's understanding

So then to the notes fro the alphabet of change

Awareness -what do i need to about myself?habits that must go and will.in faith                                        G
Belief -what stages would bring change about? I can with God's help alter my life and God wants  me to!  R
Commitment -what overlying purpose motivates me.I will make promises of 'i will'...and i will keep them.  O
Discipline -I will maintain a steady course landmarks passed cannot be taken away even if i slip i get backW
on course.I have an ability to understand and read play music that is growing i will feed and water it.I did not always have this ability-started with scribble on the harmonica,Now it is more informed by colour coded stave and tab phone numbers style patterns that whilst not fully understood nor completely accessibel nevertheless are proof of work endeavour and fruit.There is new ground to cover.The path is fresh.

if you always do what you always did
you always get what you always got

When we undertake to change ( and i believe trust)
we become heroes of our own spiritual journey

what might add like mandela did to this thinking and in so doig liberate others to know the same freedom

if God sets you free you are free in deed!my prayer amen





I noriced yesterday whilst showing how to cut and paste from youtube the film below
it arose from a similar encounter to yesterdays


It confronts my own arrogance and that of the Battle Hymn of the Republic to justify national engelistic superiority  in a way i notice i am still trying to bully people into what they do not want to know

yet only expression allows me to be a little jigsaw piece in the big picture
i pray a little light of some sort is being kept flickering of Jesus love for me and you in what I attempting to share