Monday, 23 April 2012

irreconcilableness hopefulness and the love of God

at present thoug endlessly it seems yet have been here am here but more so for it is now
martin tried reading some of this seeming brain mush and admitted it had him confused  'couldn't make sense of it' yes without punctuation this seems intuitionless and as i am not rereading it then of course i do not know whether it reads thoug i am writing it and it pours from me relatively sensibly no doubt in future a predictive text package amy punctuate but will it anticipate elucidate clarify or even offer truth within the stream and guide the silt to the bank that needs building up to create a sure line that i will no longer need to navigate for the beach will be one where i can come to rest with the chips on my shoulders have been rounded off

broken i run to you for your arms are open wide

so i wait for you

i am falling on my knees

jesus you're all this heart is living for

she has bought a church to be nearer to God

perhaps a girl i knowshe has

bought a grave yard to be nearer to the dead
and as her 'life; coach i must now resurrect her church her hope her saviour is neeeded in the church
her man has restored and maintains and cares for her building and is her beau and she wants love to be evident with him yet she is driving to be in her church womb or walk with her progeny in an even more distant landscape

i am wanting my car repaired a car i use only to get to the gallery a car i no longer use to go to wrexham in
there is a print room in liverpool that i can access more economically and i can rebelong to a group of liverpool arist should i once again run etching room printmaking group in liverpools bluecoat it does not yield a lot of much money and in truth it is no longer the desire of my heart to do what i once did  i have been praying to god for a new gift that includes money for music

and so i look for clues for godincidences and feel different from david and have pushed him away as he suggests the direction of paid employment a job can i get a job and what to do to secure this amen where to look and is it what i should be seeking or should i continue tomarket myself more more advertising guitar and mural and writing and piano somehow i must sustain my faith in being out of the boat on the romise of ask and it ill be given am i celibate for god or for the end of cruelty from rejecting metronome judgemental women yet i beleive man and woman are not seperate and from mars and venus but earthed in god's blessed mutual abundant gifting of life life that is not a small but a marvellous word amen

julia does do her morning pages unread by others and so i must somehow begin to use the manuscript version which does invite me out to cafe to librayr to liverpool to train out to be to fill the pond whilst also morning pages julias two strategies repaired into one act being in the street listenign as i respond

what a faithful god have i faithful in every way that is is the lyric behind me so then i will do a morning walk and make somesandwiched bravely walk to brookdale witha dvd i will make for them and check the santander account to see that their money has gone in amen yes that is a plan to do the two comencements to the paying of insurance and car expenses the currency of the present moment amen

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