why do the flowers have to keep dying?

i do not know
and simply cannot stay
just keep on pushing through the drizzle
seeking friendship
in the dullness of the grey pick some more when eyes are there to
 see them which reminds me in my pocket there are blossoms
i collected on the way i will literally go look in my pocket
 bring their crushed small sunlight to the light of my today

in the absence of a dead friend or two and with
another in hospital i did not know the dob or address
of so could not visit when i passed the hospital
i have writtten a letter to a slightly younger though further back in my book of life
pages in the hope of retreiving something sharable and fresh from within the lost friendship and also the neglect


i was sad yesterday as i did not know the where and when of the dance group and felt out of the loop despite my attempted enthusiasm towards their collective and individual heart warmth their grey day sun;light
when i got to them i had to keep going as the hospital and the wire of the homebase called me to creativity and i was glad when that rare synchronicity of a friends call within my loneliness restored some hope and then i bought food and tried to believe i had the resources for it i am pretending i have money and pretending to have the ability to dance because of faith that had me write a song i share and care about

there are gifts yet to discover loves released yet not on view seeds of hope to be encouraged/discovered /revealled warmed and sshare i n the very heart of YOu

this is the message of the gospel echoed i feel in julia cameron's the atrists way which came into view in bold street bookshop when i went to go on the creative bias course in liverpool the same building colins architectural practice belong in which is owned by regenda that employed me through jimmy rae so there are more god incidences for you if following the others