Sunday, 8 April 2012

okay today let us once more say true and honest

perception of self using grow model

g  goals
r reality             c.v. of things tried current skills training and assets to utilises enter into need to meet aspiration
o  options     micromovements and simplifications asset based thinking
w way forward  actions to take in the direction of goals once more considered

dreams are clearly easier to keep hoping for than actions to get to them and affordability is part of a belief system
i need an expansive belief system  in an expansive God because of my expansive hope for an abundant life

my goals are relatively simple but not limited by my current perception as i believe in a greater series of un folding options when i consider the scale of the universe the wonder of current advancement in technology and the playful way i find that i think

my skills or rather my accomplishments were rob amy marriage and loving affectionate relationships that did not come to the serene garden cottage and studio of harmonious marriage as i had dreamed

Amy and Robby are currently realising two of my dreams
gardening being in a band that is out there performing and becoming
speaking other languages and travelling and experiencing other cultures

I am realizing some of my dreams too
I will play bass in the altar this morning and hopefully grow in my friendships
i go dancing and have a few moves to revise and remember
i enjoy the companionship of two loving girls and i in turn love them
i am unsure if i have meaning for them and am almost scared of letting meaning rule my heart
both of them matter to me and i would pray that God would perhaps help me to be a true friend
to become better at affection and at friending at loving

when i woke i wanted to explain to robert why despite the satnav that i had not used my courage and satnav to call on them insecurity of funding in truth

my current perception of god's financing of me is mainly in kind something i note that tony treasurer of st bridget's centre does not want he wants money -unlike the sisters of jesus way he does not it seems have the same faith in prayer provision or isaiah 55 as they did in their little caravan years ago

what to do well self promotion and asking perhaps like tony for high price on my work or only contributing and refusing to lead seems to be my way and remain my way rather than deifying or  i am happy to tweek sound systems and contribute to the mix

stone soup and morning pages and grow model reflect my faith at present which is one of inclusion but not of being used or unpaid

my feelings for a are sincere and stem for her stuckness and her kindness and her creative yearnings to play
with sound and materials and her enjoyment of my chatting encouraging and river of hopefulness i find myself sharing with her what arthur and i enjoyed but her being a girl makes me happy to be with as a boy i long for the girl to make me feel as god intended all adams to be amen

ak came like a bolt of lightening she has danced me and entranced me and filled me with hope and i am a little sacred of loving her yet know that i might oh help which way to turn then i hope both of them will allow me further into their hearts and they into mine as god is love and i am unloved
my hearts desire for a long time was to 'make' work the dream i had of r n
but though she had a basis in fact appears to be either fiction or based on the wrong real creature god had in mind

i am left with a desire to play piano
yes do the grades but to play loosely
i want to get back into the writing course too
izzy pop seems a great idea as does parkgate and twiggy n beaky and creative uturns may be needed on these two last as izzy pop is still seedling idea whilst the journey of parkgate an twiggy n beaky has already begun
and with bobby giving me this wonderful netbook i am nearer to my dream of travelling and wrting

yet recently i have been thinking of three earlier projects the paper mache scuptures the tromploeil of them
the book entitled caring for peter and the pencil journey that i stopped at the tsumani
i should like to turn these around

new ground is offereing itelf new subjects for playfulness
the rail pass gives me pendrawings of three cities in reach and also reading time on the trains again
the dancing gives me the dancers themselves the jive moves but also if i get it right stop motion animations of a couple and still sculptures of some of the dance moves
and ak kindess gives me hope of roamnce and broader fellowship with a loose group of playful minded real gentl vulnerable people- a church beyond church or to invite into worship fellowship  though i await god in this and include you lord as hoped fpor reader of my blog

i said to ed one hit on the internet is enough i should have mentioned the real desire that it is your reading that is of my major heats desire

so then my goals are to
a find funds and to learn to use my satnav go see my son's garden and my grandaughter and su
b befreind a and help her to realize her creative     dreams her artist child within
c to dance and if right become part of ak life and heart                                           marry the right girl god brings
d have a band and write songs and play piano
e. travel log
f continue as a reader of painting books songs and films witha mind to plot plans and further 'christian' parable
though i suspect zen less is moreneess will remain an insight god has shared with me transcultural awareness but now pot pourri of religions but one way one flock one faith and one AUTHIR father /mother greater than these'the  i am' God of undonditional love Jesus

i brief family music sharing friends
marriage / home/garden/kitchen
travelling and creative artist/musician/illustrativeauthor
books albums films concerts sharings dancings meals dances
food healthy diet sustained walking

reality lot of murals
published articles
work with musicians
bass harmonica and some songs one has over 3000 hits on youtube

cook quite well
have had three years as an artist so far with varied portfolio
as wine label cloth pattern  designer muralist illustrator printmaker community artist
performed nusic live iin and outside church
have a good c.v and whilst i used to lecture in interior design printmaking art history drawing development narrative illustration visula communistaion and technical illustration i now nurture a more playful life coaching way of learning outside the classroom and am watching musicians grow from my guitar tuition and that is wonderful

i am dancing i have a piano and i have friends who are sharing insights
yes i did drop the more foramal lesons but that was because they were with the wrong tutor not the tutor fault and it was a very generous gift though we did reciporocate with mural work so i beleive we have acted approrpriately both of us just hard to be friends when there was once something more precious oh lord plase do not let this hapen again let us both find a the one you want for each of us she has a new freind/relationship and this is a good thing for me as i want to start afreshh for ever now amen

so the that is g a  and r a  roughly gone through so then options on actions
well i have a mural to do and the lessons in salt dough and wire figures and stop motion animation i would like to nurutre with the family i would sow a bigger vision of creativity with the st bridget centre and base it on stone soup thsy may need to pay me and get mateials and use the schools aroung her for their shared bike it five a day gardening venures and alos network with church farnm too

i want ot start something of a vision for gwitherin in a's hart mind beleife system so that she includes a lot of play and gets to play hersalf i feel that kens vision shrunk and napa was catrated but to have him reawake tad thinking and employ his networking skills fo ali woul be good and to get seteve involved as a firnd to arthur would be right o

so the  then options are to keep bring ing people into feloowship with each other to get the river of concetd minds hearts misucic and playfulnes flowing so i can than join i amen

options intorduce steve to ali

sustain my dancing

do my piano playng and keep writing

way forarwd set some deadlines on izzy pop
music exam
assignment 8
2011/2012 account
make the salt douhg figues and turn around the caring for peter and the no wor journey drawings again with its little old car and do a paper version to animate amen include isal gladstone and the dance

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