Thursday, 29 March 2012

into the dull thud of daaah i don't reallly know

with just a few friends at any one time
to pray for
hopes of understanding to grow
place one idea or inkling in sequence footsteps of ink spills n words
scribbles and doodled reflections
delibearate truths and absurds
break into a selfless monotony monogomous lonely
still proud
proud of the love of our father
prayers mumbled softly inside
i believe we will make it my artist
my child
the onky almost possession of mine
if it is just like another's giacommettis
arthur gee
ronald searles the zen of the drawings bfore any thought
oh i long to see one book iv'e not seen
the adventure unsatisfied draws me on over the ridge not allowed
frederick's thats frederick franck's
simenon's paris
perhaps i shall hold it one day
but meantime in time theres a million things mine though posssessing thems never quite mine
here in my eye's they go mouldy
or the dust settles twixt them and i i try to catch them fresh again sneak up unawares fore my own eye

today without rhyme
without job
without a reason and let that be the only reason i am going to go on a prayer and with my old age pass to southport
i would have gone to walk or meet with steve but i ignored him for years and he may feel the need to reciprocate hurts get planted and grow mostly by being unattended

i can only pray into the dull thiud again of please God you know i am thick how does this work
when i agree and understand the don't go theres of the Holy Spirit ego of self protection of forthcoming insincerity received
i sustained a 'relationship' courtship correpondence and cajoling for years with the pretty fluffy haired lady girl jill to my jack broken crown insearch of both holy hill and holy well to share a drink form just as the only romantic encounter of you book twixt yourself and the feminine though i recall the lady with the perfume at your feet she is echo to your flower of momentary ness though i cannot alike you to narcissus as you are every least of one of these persons i
of the zen of being fully human so i pray from my dull thuddiness into the possibilities of an eye kissed by another's homeliness
but i do not want another rosies noteworthy who i invent and graft into my olive branch heart form the dove of the ark of eve adam noah and mrs and mrs hopeful that the flood of the fall will be over and your return will be our rainbow as sark and polyanna loveliness brings into my heart mind

no trust
notutor no student all sucumbed to a sad play seed in things like eductaing rita and other roamnces twixt tutor and student oh rosie noteworthy hold your bow at just the right angle saqure it to the hypotoneuse your noose around your own neck of rejection to the loose time of you heartless stone metronome free to swing him into you with musical moist arrows of fresh fragrant sea breezes go to saint ives go to llanberis and find my friend arthur who draws and paints the wonder of his old ccyled peaks and lands exhausted at the door of a kindly farm and drinks ths tone soup of christ prepared supper oh the fiddle burns as rome fired cupids mythologyinto the eye of sigmund's foolish pride no psychology exist for secularist to turn the bed of their lovemaking into the couch and arbour of caring no the fishing boats are there on the shore lolled on their sides littl jodys' satisfied and dysfunctional simultaneously oh i wrote romantically my drawn text message rewrote frederick zen of seeing love letter to you from a bookshop in brighton where my life i hoped would be 'born again' a;longside amy freeing herslf from a smoking boyfreind into a world tour of hopefulness for all mankind like bob the seeds i sowed are coming into being with cribles gardens babies of adventure with plumb ripe plumline growings and frowing and knowing unknowings and the comic spirit that formed my thesis and earned me my firsat class honours degreee the study i started with the open unvisersity continued as theatre sets and with that dissertation which i am still writing at this very moment a n enlightenment of the ordinary ness of the haiku and the wordsworth noteworthy roses in vase of incense for the rose of sharon jesus to be found in old bookshops of cartoon albums record sleeves long playing dreams with the arm pulled back so the song will reppeat oh that stack of single that if i stacked them too high would skid and i would have to remove my needle from the florr i had been drilling to thread the sky into the black ashpalt of a gilmpse of ink to find you on my white virgin sheet rosie noteworthy lives i am dr dollittle i can talk to the animals of my heart the elza doollittle marries her life coach he thought he was helping her she was showering him but then she founmd another to be seduced increasingly blossomed by and no knowing glances work now as the eyes you lokook into no you are no longer seeing the one god made in this particular least of one of theses oh lord i pray for the sincerity of marriage as do my friends they want to be children and have shed loads of ideas and they also want to step into eden through a kindly gesture into the film of your writing and find saftey in the plot plan that is not beginning middle and end but is instead a pool that spills through their'parts' played out through their baby making nest buidling of shared adeventure oh remember me when you get back into the skins of this kind=gdom provide me with love and a girlfriend a house and with provision of the donkey of hopefulness as i ride to the jerualem of my crucifixion willingly if it make barbara setle and become aquiecent to the arms of her husband happily who ever he may yet be for you yourself have decided to run the ship and the ocaen and the iceberg into devasting collision to some divine a righteous purpose beyond my synapes of sinful intelleect i long ot surrender to wife mother God of God's write from the spillage of my souls desire a love song to brown eyes to van's younger hope which i witnessed in a concert in southport oh to stay overnight with my 'real 'love there the one you choose for me it will all come right
my mumand dad danced in southport will i ?will i do it well?
she does not know how to love me

can you pass a trustworthy soul the book on jimmy fleming have them read the blog book of my heart's hopes memories and dreams of making love in a car
of finding joy in a house in st ives of meeting my wife and laughin with ter in leed three separate girl and yet all the only one oh dear lord god make my mind up make my heart and let my eyes not love everything although that is the only hope in this insincere will not maintian my deligh in you sir moving onto another world and i suspect this doubt the devil has soown is it they have been fed on flirting and it will never be a proper sincere and friendly dance but one of hoped for tinglings of jealousy pretending to be amour well armour is needed and no hope of sensusal delight in this direcdtion as the unmemeber didmemeber un rememeber member is wilting and love hope and sincerity are an invalid entry and the whole thing  crashes and the girl does not know whether to balemherself or you or the devil did i not swap zen and picasso and art for the fruit of the spirit/ apparently i may not have done i rememebr seeing a fourth lover as the expensive cross she gave me swung from the mirror of my car and she seemed hyponitsed i did with this item go to a jewellwers and retrieve its ture value which was financial raher that christian we choose a talented or a rich on instead of the poor yet sincere ones it seesm yet inside like julia robert showed we are jsu another poor and sincere stanidn before a hoped for rich heartyed sincers saying for gods sake don't have me agree that this daft stuff is a 'good decision' for it is 'shite'

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