Friday, 2 March 2012

gentle simpler kindlier


i am restored in my hopefulness by that Samaritan stream
of the one who holy spirit lead
brings the scriptures to contemporary life

Whilst I have Hildegard Von Bingen
music performed by sequentoa in the back ground of my thought
it could have bben miles davies or debussey
ethereal aesthetic not i hope anaestthetic
meaningfulness not religiousness is jesus message
not unfortunately though to have any really meaning
christian nor Christian small c or large for the still small egoful and egoless me
is the least of one of these and no to the idea he isn't who he said he was
as his humility point out the least of one of these and say greater things than these shall you do with that mustard seed and the counsellor is here holy spirit fruit of the spirit love unconditional here emmanuel amongst

the spirit of the sovereign lord is upon us

form follows function not only that
smile before joy
 mustard seed before birds roosting

yet holiness is
it is all being all life
in its error it is still holy God breathed
challenging but true

for years your efforts of attention are getting you nowhere then one day a light that is equal to them will flood your soul  simone weil

my heros and why
john mayall
 joni mitchell
chris rea
maurice sendak
janet and allen ahlberg
van morrison
the word for today
johns gospel

something to say something to share something to show somtething to bring and share to the stone soup
like the beatles and any one who wites with company inm mind about romance family bring alive seaching laurie lee chagall paul klee concerts for the eye and my own article about parkgate as a plette for the senses for synaesthesi chromoaesthesia

education should not anaesthetise it should aesthetise my son and i are involved in the same slider on the computer that fixes the resolution of the seeing and hearing he is like eductaion anaesthetising comofroting whist art if it is to be more than emporers new clothes and life coaching if it is more than tube vision must expand the awakeness   watch this

so then i sit calmly and focus on the birdsong outside
the gentle stream and subdued hum of the fan heater and the presence of lavender
in the woven freshness of the seeds in their box the case is light and though not transparent nor opaqe it is the little holes that let the sent out between the weave

julia cameron and kappa band agree in my mind with this next from julia

most of us harbour the secret belief that work has to be work and not play
and that anything we really want to do like write dance must be considered frivolous
 and be placed a distant second



god likes art
that's the part
my parents would ignore
god likes art
and i make art
that's what god likes me for

julia cameron

there is a sadness in me and it does not really go away i am reading affirmations and loving God praying and doing these morning pages and no please to sympathetic thoughts just listen to what i seek to find for it is not poor me this time at least just honesty and i do not believe it just flows from the garbage in garbage out slip stream of education nor daily moans and morrisey and dylan and sad absorded songs yet you can tell i am reviewing it as a possibility no it is rather like the psalmist and jesus own sore ness i want love abundance and must share the hope excitement of possible joy julia is right there are a lot of blocked creatives who are somehow remaining unforgiving of themselves and therefor others for this unconditional love of waking up amazed to be alive and then more and more and more and more amazed and alive is it so sdaness comes from my impatience i will i know play piano and it will be a none performance more a finding little stepping stones little remmebered streams for me to enjoy of the familiarity and to find a few ripples and lines that will in time come together for themselves

it is thesadness of waiting to dance not yet knowing sufficient steps locations reroutings of finance to get me to that floor at least i will afford the piano so my fingers can partner each other in stepping out soem arabesques of sound little freindshipe of mutual fingering as the several souls and liftimes reemerge expressed from memory and emotion pools to surface as newly refreshingly expressed joy of the moment the problem with the word hope it implies waiting and not to be impatient i simply want that holies of new nowness that i got when i drew the following picture and it is interesting that when waiting one day my minds eye saw the photograph of myself as a boy and drew it from memory as i waited to pint portraits of others of their now but my then

any way below the other day a man with little bird watching binocualrs was taking tea at thursaston and i enjoyed his momentariness before flying down to the beach unobserved in his binocualrs  

here is a drawing of a little mouse vole thing the cat brought to babs as a gift one time

this is seeing drawing which is what dr franck shared with me
next is klee born rooting in this case my conjuring a scribble for a repeat pattern for 
swedish children 

the sound outside and the darkness is rain i hear over the choristers on the hum of the goldfics filter as i turned the fan heater off
's clothing

and the next two drawings are of buildings one is based on drawing in york the other a developed doodle from a cardboard fold up i thin i bought at a postcard

bath and piano wait 
did i discover uncover request any luxury i hope so i just remembered that is julias advice

julia cameron is to writing for me what frederick franck is to drawing for me
honest expression of the moment in words seeing is true in both cases

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